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Posts Tagged ‘velostat’

Mass Alien Abduction In Progress

Posted by LOTGK on February 12, 2012

thought screen helmet abduction

Only One Wearing Thought Screen Helmet

An important announcement from the Grassy Knoll Institute to all those afflicted with M.A.A. (Multiple Alien Abductions)

Yesterday afternoon, a group of M.A.A. members were targeted by aliens and quickly and easily abducted from their camp site. Only Eddy survived by following the thought screen helmet credo to always wear your helmet no matter how safe you feel.

Eddy watched in horror as the aliens unceremoniously levitated his fellow M.A.A. members to the mother ship perhaps never to be seen again. Only Eddy’s velostat lined thought screen helmet prevented his abduction by shielding his thoughts and his location from the aliens.

Don’t let this happen to you. Wearing a properly constructed thought screen helmet lined with velostat at all times is the only way to prevent the wearer from being the victim of an alien abduction.


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Posted in Thought Screen | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

NFL Lockout Attributed To Alien Influence

Posted by LOTGK on July 17, 2011

Labor Dispute

Grassy Knoll Institute operative declare Thought Screen Helmet aliens have infiltrated the NFL and caused the lockout.

As the NFL lockout stretches into the middle of July evidence it is evident that thought screen aliens have influenced both the players association and the owners for their own ulterior motives.

With no training camp, preseason games, or regular season games in 2011, football fans will look for alternative activities to fill their daily lives. Thought screen aliens believe the NFL football fan will be more easily manipulated with plenty of idle time and will telepathically push them toward other interests that the aliens need to conquer humankind.

God, please don’t let the aliens be NASCAR fans.


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Posted in Thought Screen | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Eliminate Alien Anal Probes

Posted by LOTGK on March 29, 2011

alien anal probes

Eliminates Those Pesky Alien Anal Probes

From the makers of the Thought Screen Helmet suit comes a revolutionary product designed to eliminate telepathic aliens from conducting anal probes. The Grassy Knoll Institute proudly presents, The Thought Screen Helmet Anal-Eliminator. Once inserted you will feel safe and secure in the knowledge that no aliens will ever probe you again.

The A.E. (Anal-Eliminator) was designed for abductee’s on the go. No longer will you have to cower inside your home afraid of alien probes. As with all our products the A.E. is lined with velostat, that magical material that filters out any unwelcome telepathic connection between you and the aliens. The A.E. is encased handsomely in supple leather for your enjoyment and comfort. It will arrive at your door in an unmarked plain brown wrapper to protect your privacy.

Stop Alien Anal Probes Now! Order the A.E. Call 1-800-ANAL PRO. Operators are standing by now. Have your credit card ready.

But wait, if you order in the next 30 minutes you will receive as our gift to you absolutely free, (Just pay separate processing and handling) a Thought Screen Helmet for pets.


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Posted in Thought Screen | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Thought Screen Helmet Aliens Sinister Intent

Posted by LOTGK on February 4, 2011

alien human sex

Intentions Finally Revealed

The question of whether aliens exist is a moot point as millions of citizens have well documented sightings with miles of evidence of their visitations. However, until just today, the most puzzling question was; Why are aliens here on Earth? Why bother with humankind? What advantage would they have coming here?

The Grassy Knoll Institute can now reveal that answer. In a word, the aliens are looking for a little “Action.” It takes hundreds of years for alien ships to travel from their home world to Earth. After many generations of breeding, the gene pool depleted, leaving the women incapable of bearing offspring. The only solution was to find a new fertile gene pool. Human females.

Through their telepathic abilities, the aliens are able to control humans. Once a female candidate is selected, the aliens proceed to seduce them in hopes of impregnating them. If a successful pregnancy occurs, the female is abducted so the fetus can be removed and implanted in an alien female host. This assures perpetuation of the alien species. The human female is then returned left wondering what had happened to her remembering only fragments of her abduction.

This is a warning to all the abductees’ being taken and visited by aliens. To prevent unwanted pregnancy, you must continue to wear your properly constructed Thought Screen Helmet at all times. The helmet, lined with velostat offers telepathic canceling properties that prevents the aliens from linking to your mind. Think of it as wearing a condom on your head. No link, no control, no intercourse, no pregnancy.

For the men taken, perhaps this explains that pain in your ass when you are returned. Perhaps…..


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Posted in Thought Screen | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Thought Screen Helmet For Your Pets

Posted by LOTGK on April 30, 2010

Take Me To Your Litter

A Public Announcement To All Thought Screen Helmet Wearers:
Even though you wear your thought screen helmet religiously, it doesn’t mean you are entirely safe from alien abduction and / or alien domination. As we all know, the evil aliens become quite angry when the telepathic link has been severed by wearing a properly constructed thought screen helmet lined with velostat. When they notice the interruption they immediately go to the source to investigate.

Upon inspection, the aliens will look for other means of control and your pets are the next logical step. Using their telepathic mind control, the aliens will infiltrate your pets thoughts. Once they have control over your cat or dog, while you are safely sleeping in your bed at night, they will command your pet to jump up on the bed and claw away at the helmet until it is removed. Once it’s off and the wearer is now exposed to telepathic thought control, the aliens will pounce and assume control.

The Grassy Knoll Institution has the solution. Introducing Thought Screen Helmets for your pets.
Your move evil aliens. Your move.

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Posted in Thought Screen | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Grassy Knoll Institute

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