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Posts Tagged ‘thought screen helmet’

Halloween Sparta Thought Screen Helmet

Posted by LOTGK on October 9, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

Screw You Aliens

With Halloween rapidly approaching, the Grassy Knoll institute has exciting news for those Thought Screen Helmet citizens constantly being abducted by evil aliens. A new and improved Thought Screen Helmet lined with velostat made to manufacturers specifications. The helmet is disguised as a Spartan helmet from the popular movie 300 starring Gerald Butler. It is a perfect Halloween costume that still provides maximum protection from telepathic aliens. Get your “Halloween” on and forget about alien abduction. And as you can see, chicks dig the helmet.

Happy Halloween – Samhain


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Trash Bag Alien

Posted by LOTGK on December 6, 2007

The Grassy Knoll Institute has received countless UFO stories submitted by our readers and each story contained certain themes and elements. By using these elements, it becomes very easy to construct a fabricated UFO story. I set to task to create my own alien abduction story and now offer you the following…

Of course it was late out. Of course it was dark out. Of course I was alone when I witnessed this amazing event. This Trash Bag Alien!

Let me explain. I work at the Ohio Turnpike, exit 16A as a maintenance supervisor. My work schedule keeps me out late at night. Very late at night. My shift ends at 1 am in the morning. I then walk to my car and drive the 22 miles home to my apartment. Rarely do I vary my routine as I am tired and wanting to get home and to bed. This one particular night, Wednesday the fifth of September, something was different. My usual routine was changed. It seemed to be taking forever to get home that early morning.

Checking my watch I found that it was already past 1:30am. Being still 10 miles from home, I was running almost 15 minutes behind schedule. Somehow, I had lost track of time, got lost on the highway, or blacked out. Since the car was not in a ditch, I figured the blacking out was not the option. Anyway, my odometer was correct, (I religiously check the mileage on my car and it was exactly where it should be) and I began to get an eerie feeling that something was about to happen and started to wonder how I had lost those 15 minutes.

It seemed that the night sky just got a little darker, and the air a little cooler, and the night sounds a little quieter. Being a UFO buff I knew all the elements were in alignment for an abduction but wondered if it was me they were after, or someone else. Maybe the aliens were trying to impede my progress towards home to avoid contact with the actual abductee candidate. My mind began to race thinking up many different scenario’s with each one getting worse.

A minute later, I pulled into my apartment complex and rolled the car slowly around the drive and into the back parking area. Before exiting my car, I surveyed my surroundings making sure nothing was out of the ordinary. Convinced everything was OK, I opened the car door and proceeded to the complex back door.

Then I heard it. A noise, sort of a rustling noise, off in the faint distance. It seemed to be coming closer as the sound amplified ever so slightly. Spinning around I caught something out of the corner of my eye, a quick glimpse of movement over by the community garbage receptacle. The half lit neon security bulb hissed and shone a very faint light on the trash can area. The sound echoed again in my ears. What was it? Were aliens hiding behind the trash can? Waiting to abduct me? why wasn’t I running and screaming into my apartment? Maybe I was already under the control of the aliens, my thought patterns forever changed and was now enslaved to do the evil biddings of the evil aliens.

Just then, Mrs. Foley came into view walking around the garage holding a bag with something in it. I felt like shouting to Mrs. Foley, to warn her of her impending doom and capture, and yet, my mind thought that maybe the aliens were after her and not me and if I warned her, the aliens would become upset with me and take me instead.

In silence I stood and watched the scene unfold before my very eyes. Mrs. Foley came closer and when she was near the trash receptacle, she slowly lifted the lid and threw the bag she was carrying into the bin and let the lid slam shut. Turning, she spotted me and became startled seeing me lurking in the shadows, on the little grassy knoll, staring at her. Instead of screaming, she called out to me asking if I was alright. Indeed, I was, but barely, knowing that I had just escaped an alien abduction and may have saved the life of Mrs. Foley as well. Seconds passed and I answered back that yes I was alright and was just coming home from work. We both walked to the back door of the apartment building and stepped in, her not knowing that I had just saved her life, and me not knowing what actually was in the trash bag that she mysteriously was disposing of that late in the evening.

Humankind had won this battle that night my friend with a little luck and nerves of steel. Next time, I would set my new plan into motion and attempt to capture one of the aliens to offer exact proof that they really do exist and that I am not hallucinating all this or that it is all just a dream, a bad nightmare of sorts, one from where I can never awaken from, and even if I could awake, be very afraid of what I might find on the conscious side of living.

So go laugh, if you fucking dare…..

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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"


Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.