Posted by LOTGK on April 21, 2009
The Grassy Knoll Institute witnessed the formation of a new religious cult on the Parkway streets in Gatlinburg, Tennessee today. Throngs of people gathered around a giant sphere sent by a hovering giant alien space craft hiding in the clouds. It landed right outside Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. (If you can believe it! Or not!)
Defying the laws of gravity, the 4 ton sphere (Orb) floated above the pavement enabling passersby to spin the sphere with their hands. Worshippers lucky enough to touch the magic sphere immediately become disciples of the new Church and began speaking in tongues to one another.
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Giant Aliens | Tagged: aliens, gatlinburg, giants, orbs, reipleys believe it or not, religion, religious cult, ripleys, spheres | 8 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on July 16, 2008
On my way home from work last night, suddenly a very bright white light appeared and descended upon my car. The light slowly engulfed my car and I was then magically transported to a higher plane of existence in the universe. Still encompassed in the bright light, I was removed from the car by some unseen, unfelt source and found myself in the middle of a Buddhist temple.
When my eyes focused I saw 12 monks coming toward me. They began speaking and somehow I could understand their language. They began to teach me the meaning of life and all the wonders and joy that come with this great gift. The teachings of the monks continued for 20 years yet I didn’t age a day. I was then told it was time to go. The bright light was again upon me and in the blink of an eye, I was back in my car on the way home from work.
Stunned, I stopped my car to gather my wits. A glance at my watch told me I had been gone only a matter of seconds. Dazed and confused, I slowly made my way home. Amazingly, I remembered everything the monks taught me about the meaning of life. It was the most simplest of equations man could ever know. It was and still is right in front of our noses.
Before my memory fades of this wondrous gift bestowed upon me, I am sharing this with all the world to use in hopes that peace and prosperity reach us all in our life time.
In the simplest form, the meaning of life is…..
—-ERROR, EFX2 BLOGS SERVER CRASH!!!—
—-SYSTEM OFFLINE! DATA CORRUPTED AND OR LOST—
And that my friends lead to the road of enlightenment. I’m glad I could share this with you.
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LURKING, THE MORAL OF THE STORY, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Random Shots | Tagged: blog, blogs, efx2, entertainment, grassy knoll, humor, meaning of life, modblog, news, random, religion | 18 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on April 17, 2008
(Would You Mind Telling Me who’s Brain I Did Put In)
According to the new WordPress dashboard, (Which everyone loves so much) I noticed I have 999 posts here at the Grassy Knoll Institute. When I press the publish button, this post will be #1000. Yea baby yea!
I have not really thought about what I should post about for this milestone high water mark entry. Perhaps I should plead for world peace, for lower oil prices, for Simon Cowell of American Idol fame to wear a goddamn bra, to throwing the tea back into the harbor, or for politicians that do not lie, or dealing with an honest used car salesman, (One in the same perhaps) or finding empirical proof that aliens really do exist, and God for that matter, (That’s for you Cyn) or how many licks it does take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop.
My son, Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute suggested I post about the times I almost burned down our secret headquarters, or electrocuted myself, not once, but thrice while doing some wiring work, or blowing up the bee hive buried in the ground in our back yard, or my balancing act on the ladder, (Or lack of balance) or what it really took to be a member of the Daredevils club, or my real theory pertaining to ABC’s Lost.
My wife Patty, the bank, brains, and beauty behind the blog, suggested dinner at her favorite restaurant without me taking my damn camera and photographing the meal I order.
Instead, I think I will simply say thank you to everyone that reads my quirky little blog. And to everyone who comments. And to those that have me linked and blogrolled on their own respective blogs and websites. And to General George S. Patton, for his genius in warfare and being a ruthless but fair bastard.
And for the others, I guess there is no pleasing you then.
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LURKING, 1000 TIMES OVER, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Inner Sanctum | Tagged: blogging, entertainment, friends, grassy knoll, humor, Inner Sanctum, life, lotgk, news, random, religion, wordpress | 14 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008
As Mother Superior read a chilling excerpt from the Book Of Revelations, Sister Wylene and Winona prepared to commit one of the new and improved Vatican sanctioned mortal sins of fun.
After the dousing, the sisters beat it out of there leaving the reverend mother soaking wet screaming obscenities.
I am sure one way or the other, the bitching nuns will find a way to blame me for what happened.
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in April Fools Day | Tagged: april fools, April Fools Day, catholic nuns, catholics, entertainment, funny, grassy knoll, holidays, humor, jokes, nuns, pranks, religion | 2 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on March 23, 2008
On my way to Gatlinburg, Tennessee I snapped this photo of the three crosses up on the hill. I have seen this instance in several places in the South but this is the only photo I took.
Apparently, the three crosses symbolize the Christ crucifixion. When the Romans nailed Jesus to the cross, two other criminals of the state were also hung up on crosses, one of Christ’s left and one to his right.
As the bible story goes, one criminal mocked Jesus telling him that if he was God why didn’t he free himself and save the criminals. The criminal on Christ’s right side told Jesus that he deserved to be punished for his sins and asked Jesus to remember him when he gets to his kingdom in heaven.
Jesus responded that by the end of the day both of the them would be in paradise with God.
Happy Easter from the Grassy Knoll Institute
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Postcards Edge | Tagged: easter, entertainment, grassy knoll, holidays, jesus, lotgk, photographs, pictures, post cards, postcards, religion, three crosses | 4 Comments »