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Posts Tagged ‘houses to avoid for halloween’

Real Scary Houses To Avoid For Halloween

Posted by LOTGK on October 31, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

As you take your children trick or treating this Halloween, pay close attention to certain caveat’s of the houses you permit your offspring to visit. Some of them are NOT what they appear to be.

The Grassy Knoll Institute offers this Halloween Trick or Treat guide on what doorbells to avoid ringing this Halloween. Pay close attention, this guide may just save your life.

Worst Treat Ever

If you see this sign in the yard, unless you really like rabbit stew, keep on walking down the street.
____________________________________________________________

Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka never passed out candy for Halloween. And even if he did, you would have to have a golden ticket to enter. Do you have a golden ticket? No! Then move on.
____________________________________________________________

Jaws

Cue the Jams theme. I salute this person who has the absolute best home security system.
____________________________________________________________

Coffin Cupboards

If the owner of the house invites you in and you see the kitchen cabinets are made from funeral caskets, get the Hell out of the house ASAP.
____________________________________________________________

You Ain't Hansel

Note to all children: There are no houses made out of gum drops and ginger bread. And who wants gingerbread for Halloween anyway. It ranks right up there with Charlie Brown getting a rock.
____________________________________________________________

Rural Haunts

If perchance you find yourself on a deserted farm road with life like scarecrows scattered across the field, it’s time to fire up your John Deere and get the back to the suburbs.
____________________________________________________________

I Need A Heart

I have to say it. You’re not in Kansas anymore. Never bang on a house door where the lights are turned off. Those people do not want to participate in Halloween. If you continue knocking, the heartless owner may get angry.
____________________________________________________________

Isn't It Obvious

I’ll point out the obvious for all the “Newbies” out trick or treating tonight for Halloween. If the next house you plan on visiting for candy has teeth for a door, and eyes in the windows, it’s a trick. Move on to the next house.
____________________________________________________________

Tale Tale Signs

If in your travels happen by a telephone pole in the neighborhood looking like this, perhaps you should try another street.
____________________________________________________________

Mass Quantities

Public Awareness Announcement:
This house will not give trick or treaters proper candy. Instead, prepare to receive six packs of beer, mass quantities of cigarettes, and perhaps a quart of oil.
____________________________________________________________

There are more houses you may need to avoid. Listen to your parents tonight use their judgment on what houses to visit and what ones to stay away from.

Happy Halloween – Samhain

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Houses To Avoid Halloween – Schweddy Balls

Posted by LOTGK on October 27, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

Out Of Candy

Hank, younger brother of Pete Schweddy, preparing his lesser famous flame cooked Halloween balls to pass out to all the children brave enough to cross the yellow police tape.

As a public notice from the Grassy Knoll Institute: As a general rule, children should not accept any “Treat” that is home made. Only eat store bought goodies after your parents have checked over your haul for the evening.

Happy Halloween – Samhain

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Houses To Avoid On Halloween – (Intersection)

Posted by LOTGK on October 16, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

In West Bumblefuck County

As you take your children trick or treating this Halloween, pay close attention to certain caveat’s of the houses you permit your offspring to visit. Some of them are NOT what they appear to be.

The Grassy Knoll Institute offers this Halloween Trick or Treat guide on what doorbells to avoid ringing this Halloween. Pay close attention, this guide may just save your life.

Continuing our tour of houses to avoid this Halloween season, we find ourselves in the Haight District, San Francisco, California. Just two blocks from the landmark intersection of Haight/Ashbury, (Ground zero of the Beatnik and Hippie movement of the early 1960’s) we find the intersection of Manson/Charles.

In the mid 1960’s, cult leader Charles Manson spent several months in the Haight area recruiting his disciples in the gray house on the left. Later in the Summer of 1969, the Manson family went on a murder rampage.

Legend has it that during the Halloween season, music from the Beatles White Album can be faintly heard wafting through the streets of the Haight.

When I get to the bottom
I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and turn
and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you don’t you want me to love you
I’m coming down fast but I’m miles above you
Tell me tell me come on tell me the answer
and you may be a lover but you ain’t no dancer

Happy Halloween – Samhain

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Houses To Avoid This Halloween (The Sign)

Posted by LOTGK on October 3, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

After The Zombie Apocalypse

As you take your children trick or treating this Halloween, pay close attention to certain caveat’s of the houses you permit your offspring to visit. Some of them are NOT what they appear to be.

The Grassy Knoll Institute offers this Halloween Trick or Treat guide on what doorbells to avoid ringing this Halloween. Pay close attention, this guide may just save your life.

House #1 to avoid. if you see a sign like above, perhaps you should bypass this house. Hell, avoid the entire street. (You have to wonder how the clothes are obtained)

Happy Halloween – Samhain

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Houses To Avoid During Halloween

Posted by LOTGK on October 31, 2009

halloweendzheader

Many people decorate their homes and yards for the Halloween season with some going over the edge with electronic light shows and sound tracks making it appear like an authentic haunted evil house. To those people, the Grassy Knoll Institute salutes you.

However, in your travels tonight, as you take your children trick or treating, pay close attention to certain caveat’s of the houses you are sending your offspring to. Some of them may not appear to be what you think.

The Grassy Knoll Institute offers this Halloween Trick or Treat guide on what houses to avoid ringing the door bell this Halloween. Pay close attention, this guide may just save your life.

* The house down the street that seems to be imploding into itself in a bizarre space-time continuum wormhole. General Rule: Doc Brown is not the owner and he will not send you back to the future.

* The Hanzel and Gretel house. Sometimes these houses are in the “Red light” district of town. It is not the place to go for treats. Unless you like to be eaten. General rule: Avoid any house made of food and or candy.

* A simple observation: Avoid any house whose only entrance goes to the basement.

* A house that also doubles as a mortuary or funeral home.

* The house across the street that has ornamental grave stones with single votive candles lit on each.

* Any house that looks like a scene straight from The Amityville Horror movie that growls “Get out” when you approach it. General rule: Heed that warning. There’ll be no Snickers bars for you.

* Any house where the furniture seems to be spinning around the living room floor. This is not the Disney movie Beauty And The Beast.

* A house that is saucer shaped, silver in color, with a low humming electrical sound emanating from inside.

* A house with extremely realistic statues of people in the front yard
poised in odd running away poses with horror etched on their faces.

* Any house that wasn’t there only a minute ago…

* The house with a 1990’s white Ford Bronco parked in the drive.

* If the house is filled with flies, locusts, or other flying insects, skip the house and move to the next. You will not receive a treat.

* The dilapidated old mansion at the end of the road with tank sized gargoyles adorning the perches with glowing eyes.

Happy Halloween – Samhain

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