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Posts Tagged ‘ass clown’

Ass Clown Of The Day

Posted by LOTGK on June 22, 2008

ass clown
Click Photo For Larger Picture

Submitted for your approval. The sign post up ahead.

Market Street Bridge…
Heavy Construction…
Ass Clown that cannot follow detour signs crossing the solid yellow line into oncoming traffic all the while talking on a goddamn cell phone. (For those readers across the pond, we drive on the right side of the road)

Being the even tempered all around good guy that I am, I attempted to wave the ass clown on so I and the drivers behind me could traverse the bridge. I then noticed ass clown #1 was on his cell phone completely oblivious that the light had turned green, and that he has positioned himself for a head on Collision.

At this moment I wished I had installed my Ass Clown air horn. It would have been a perfect fit for today. I could hear it now billowing out from under the hood. ASSSSSS…Clownnnnn!

Ass clown #1 finally drove away hitting one of the orange barrels as he steered towards route 680 north. Ass clown #2 was now up to the plate.

Of course, Ass clown #2 was on her cell phone. I beeped my horn at her, and she gave me this glaring look like she was the Queen Mum and what nerve I had for beeping at her. I flipped her the finger and yelled “Fuck you ass clown, learn how to fucking drive you fuck bag.” The eloquent words just flowed out of me like poetry.

Ass clown #2 apparently learned to drive from ass clown #1 for she completely missed her turn and ran over several orange barrels herself all the while looking at me in disgust. I laughed as she drove away.

Hopefully, FAC, (Fucking Ass Clown) reads this and sees the error of her ways.

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LURKING, USING TURN SIGNALS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

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Phlash Downtown Tour

Posted by LOTGK on December 15, 2007

The Phlash Downtown Tour

Several weeks ago we visited the city of brotherly love to of course run the “Rocky” steps at the Philadelphia Museum Of Art. And to see some of the other sites as well. What we needed was a dependable mode of transportation to get us there.

After checking in, which was painless, we set out for the “Rocky” steps. The Yellow Cab company transported us there for a mere $9 dollars. (Pretty steep) After running the steps, (Yes, we have pictures and video of not only the Lead Scientist running the steps but the Curator himself. But that is a later post) we decided to return to the hotel. Then we spied it. The Phlash downtown trolley. This quick and easy trolley stops at 20 key locations in the city. And the cost? Only a dollar per ride or $4 dollars for an all day pass. We boarded and returned back to the city and stopped at the Hard Rock for dinner. (Another update!)

The next morning, we set out to see the sights. We asked the bellmen at the front doors of the hotel we were staying at, the Philadelphia Downtown Marriott, where we could pick up the Phlash. The three bellmen looked at me as if I were speaking French. Again I asked. Incredibly, all three of the men, Marriott employees, had no idea what the Phlash was.

Then the hammer dropped. One of the men told me that if we were looking for a tour, we could sign up right in the lobby for the “Big Bus” tour which was a mere $27 dollars per person. To pound the final nail, one of the bellmen chimed in saying that he does remember the Phlash but it wasn’t running anymore but the tour bus was ready to go right now.

I looked at these three idiots, (Scam artists) and informed them that I just rode the Phlash the night before. That shut them all up and they dispersed through the lobby.

You see, the Phlash costs only $4.00 per day for unlimited rides throughout Philly. They go to 20 hot spots in town, which by coincidence are the exact same places that the $27 dollar tour bus goes to. I truly believe these idiot bellmen were running a scam drumming up business to the tour bus. They blatantly lied to me when they said they had no idea what the Phlash was. And the proof to this was found right in the hotel gift shop.

On the cashier counter was a pile of pamphlets of the Phlash. Added proof was that the Phlash actually makes regular stops in front of the Marriott hotel. Every 12 minutes in fact. It is stop #5 on the map below. I was lied to by these ass clowns.

Bottom line, the Philadelphia Downtown Marriott hotel has despicable customer service allowing employees to blatantly lie to paying travelers.

Moving on. Notice the route of the Phlash. It stopped at the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, National Constitution center, Penn’s landing, City Hall, Rodin museum, Logan Park, Betsy Ross house, Philadelphia Museum of Art and many more places.

Another bonus was that the Phlash ran every 12 minutes. We were able to jump off, do our thing, jump back on and go to the next site and jump off again. I was very impressed with the Phlash. Not so much with the “Ass Clown” bellmen at the Marriott.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

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