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Posts Tagged ‘adrian peterson’

Vikings Lose To Chargers – Game #1 – 09/11/2011

Posted by LOTGK on September 12, 2011

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Red headed Step Child

The Minnesota Vikings opened up the 2011 season (Hut, hut, defensive off sides Vikings) traveling to San Diego (Hut, hut, defensive off sides Vikings) starting off strong with Percy Harvin returning the opening kickoff 103 yards for a touchdown (Hut, hut, defensive off sides Vikings) but ending the game ugly with three off side penalties in the final drive of the game.

In essence, the Minnesota Vikings were beat like a red-headed step child with Donovan McNabb passing for only 39 yards. Not in a series, or a half, but for the entire game. Throw in the Vikings defensive line allowing Chargers quarterback Rivers time enough to have tea and crumpets and find the open receivers down field for 335 yards and you got yourselves a good old-fashioned woodshed beating.

The Vikings continued their abysmal play away record and add to that factor that the game was played outside, and you had your first mortal lock of the season. But let’s get back to Donovan’s Viking debut. His line stats on Monday will look like this: 7-15 passing, 47% completion, 39 yards, one interception, one touchdown, one loss. I know Viking fans, it’s his first game, and there was no OTA’s, mini camp, etc. I am merely stating the facts. I will credit Donovan’s mobility as he rushed for 32 yards on three carries keeping drives alive. But 39 yards passing. Really!

Do not get me wrong here Viking fans, it is not all Donovan’s fault. Let me explain please. In today’s game, I watched Donovan drop back and immediately the pocket collapsed. Donovan had to check to the safety valve, throw the ball away, or run for his life. Complete opposite for Philip Rivers of San Diego. He had all day to pick the Vikings D-Backs apart. Donovan did not have time to throw deep. Rivers did. That is the reason.

Moving on to some good moves and news:

* Percy Harvin lobbied coach Frazier to return kicks today. Result – Harvin takes opening kickoff 103 yards to the house.

* Brian Robison records a half sack after replacing last years starter Ray Edwards.

* Michael Jenkins had three catches for 26 yards and a touchdown.

* Adrian Peterson signed a $100 million contract extension and rushed for 98 yards on 16 carries.

For 2011 Viking Thunder is going to compare two former players who jumped shipped. One on offense, one on defense and compare them to their counterpart on the Vikings.

Team: Vikings — Seahawks
Player: Michael Jenkins – Catches: 3 Yards: 26 Points: 6
Player: Sidney Rice – Catches: 0 Yards: 0 Points: 0
Note: Sidney Rice did not play due to injury.

Team: Vikings — Falcons
Player: Brian Robison – Sacks: .5
Player: Ray Edwards – Sacks: 0

There are 15 games left in the season with only 8 home games in the Mall Of America stadium. After that, who really knows. The Viking lease is up, will the Vikings move, broker a deal, or stay put in the Dome.

I wonder what Brett Favre and Randy Moss are doing?…


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Vikings Training Camp Cup Runneth Over

Posted by LOTGK on August 4, 2011

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Bursting With Pride

Finally, the NFL owners (Billionaires) and NFL players (Millionaires) came to an agreement and the lockout was lifted with not a moment (Or dollar) to spare. (Seriously, was there any doubt the NFL would allow the lockout to continue risking the loss of billions of dollars?)

However, now that the lockout is over all 32 NFL teams are scrambling to sign players and rework contracts to get under the $120 million salary cap set for 2011. (Hank Baskett should be worried)

* One good thing that came out of the new CBA is the rookie salary cap. No more rookie holdouts and $50 million signing bonus deals. The Vikings signed all ten of their draft picks before camp opened. I cannot remember the last time that happened.

* With the opening of training camp so began the drama. Surprise! Bryant McKinnie showed up to camp out of shape and over weight. He reminds me of the Talking Heads tune, Once In A Lifetime,
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well…How did I get here?
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

McKinnie reportedly spent the off-season training and conditioning with Venus and Serena Williams so he would be in tip top shape for camp. I’m guessing his workout and fitness video collaboration won’t sell many copies.

* Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, so does the Brett Favre annual retiring watch begin. Hell, the media whore king has already been linked to Philadelphia. Perhaps he can hook up with Randy Moss again. (That worked out well last year) Worse yet, Joe Webb has been linked to Favre in Mississippi working on his mechanics. Favre was quoted as saying he is ready to embrace the role of mentor. (If only I had sharks with laser beams attached to their heads)

* The only number four I want to see on the field is Vikings punter and Twitter extraordinaire Chris Kluwe. You can find Chris on the field practicing his craft by day and being a star on Twitter at night. Check him out here. ChrisWarcraft. (See, he’s like a super hero. Punting by day, Twittering by night, and playing in a band called (Tripping Icarus.) (No Chris, Donovan did not put me up to mentioning your band. Yet!)

* Reports have been coming in from our Grassy Knoll Institute operative assigned to the Viking training camp that several hundred Philadelphia Eagle fans drove across country and have arrived for today’s 3pm practice. They intend to BOO McNabb mercilessly when he takes the field for the first time. The sentiment among the Eagles fans are that they just want Donovan to feel at home.

* Do you think the Vikings panicked when Sidney Rice signed with Seattle? Let’s find out. The Vikings now have 14 receivers, not including tight ends on the roster right now. But do not fret Viking fans. The passing game will be fine. Face it, Rice was hurt 3 out of 4 years on the Vikings. His stats prove this. In his four year stay here, he averaged 36 catches a year, for an average of 532 yards, and 4.5 touchdowns per year. Compare those to Jenkins stats and you got a very good replacement. Jenkins averaged 39 catches a year, 501 yards receiving, and 2.8 touchdowns per year.

For the rest of the receivers, Harvin is a super star, Berrian is now in a contract year, (Can you say motivated) Camarillo is a good possession receiver, Johnson adequate backup, Arosmahodu back up as well. And the other assorted receivers plus Joe Webb, the new “Slash” who will line up at receiver and quarterback.

* Does anyone else have the gut feeling that Randy Moss will be in purple again this season. Just saying.

* Side note: The Grassy Knoll Institute scholars have been busy deciphering the complete works of world renown psychic Nostradamus and his quatrains of the centuries. If you recall, two years ago we believed one particular quatrain referred to the Minnesota Vikings but alas, a minor translation error from French to Latin to English made the quatrain fail. Nostradamus Predicts Vikings To Win Superbowl

However, this year, we have a master linguist in house and a new quatrain sheds significant light on the fate of the Minnesota Vikings in 2011-2012 (Coincidentally also the supposedly the end of civilization as we know it) All will be revealed before the start of the season as the Vikings prepare to do battle once more.

* Every year at this time, I make my standard prediction on the fortunes (Or misfortunes) of the Vikings.

Here is what I see:
A new head coach.
A new Offensive Coordinator.
A new quarterback.
A new Left tackle.
A new receiver.
A new D Tackle.
A new linebacker, (Hope Leber signs but…)
A new corner.
A new safety.
A new defensive end.
But, no new stadium.

With all that in mind, here we go….
McNabb returns to form and has an outstanding season. 3500 yards passing, 30 TD’s, 12 INT’s.
Peterson amasses 1500 yards, 12 TD’s
Jenkins hauls is 40 catches, 605 yards, 5 TD’s.
Harvin amasses 1150 yards receiving, 250 yards rushing, and a combined 12 TD’s.
Jared Allen ropes 15 sacks.
Robison 8.5 sacks. (Didn’t miss Edwards)
Longwell wins two games for the Vikings with clutch kicks.
Kluwe elevates to all pro status averaging over 45 yards per punt, (Net)

The Vikings go 10-6, wanted to say 9-7 because of the lack of mini and training camp, but the pieces are there. They split with the Slackers, Bears, and Lions, but go on to win 7 more games outside the division making them a wild card selection. From there, well, Nostradamus knows….


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The Prodigal Son Returns

Posted by LOTGK on October 6, 2010

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I'm Back In The Saddle

Randy Moss, the prodigal son, after years of squandering his talent, has returned home to Minnesota.
Randy said to Brad, Coach, I have sinned against the league and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called a Viking.

But Brad said to his coaches, Quickly! Bring me the best robe and put it on Randy. Put a ball in his hand and cleats on his feet. Open the cafeteria and bring the best food. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this player of mine was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is now found.

The Holy Gospel according to Coach Childress. Amen.

Yes Viking fans, Moss is back in town. Brett Favre again has a deep threat target to stretch the field. To lesson the blitz, to eliminate 8 and 9 men in the box to slow Peterson, to catch touchdowns, to win games, to beat the Jets, and win the ring he so dearly covets.

And his return is none to soon. The Vikings are 1-2 and are facing a brutal remaining schedule and will need the offense at peak operating performance to advance to the playoffs. Moss will still command a double team opening up opportunities for Harvin, Berrian, and Shaincoe. It will also leave one or more men out of the box helping Peterson to gain even more yards. Fewer men in the box, less blitzes on Favre, more time to throw, more time to read the defense. The whole team wins.

And one more thing to ponder before I end this post with an old Lorne Greene song, If Moss signs for three more years and clicks with Brett Favre, does this entice Favre to return for three more years. After all, there is only one more record that he doesn’t have. Most seasons played, held by former Raider quarterback, George Blanda, 26 seasons.

With Randy’s return, lets face, his reputation was tarnished leaving and dying in the black hole known as Oakland. Moving to New England, he set individual records and flirted with a perfect season and super bowl victory. Returning home, hopefully, he has the same mentality he had as a rookie wanting to tear up the league. Moss scores a TD Monday night. Perhaps Favre’s 500th TD pass.

The following lyrics is a remix of Lorne Greene’s famous cowboy song titled Ringo.

He lay face down in the Oakland sand
Clutching a football in his hand.
Left behind his career was dead
But under his heart was an ounce of dread.
But a spark still burned so I used my knife
And late that night I saved the life, of Randy.
Randy… Randy…

I Coached him till the danger past
The days went by, he learned so fast.
Then from dawn to setting sun
He practiced on his deadly run.
And hour and hour I watched in awe
No human being could match the draw, of Randy.
Randy…. Randy.

One day we rode the mountain crest
And he went East and I went West.
I went to Dallas and wore a star
While he spread terror near and far.
With speed and leaps he gained such fame
All through the league they feared the name, of Randy.
Randy…. Randy.

I knew some day I’d face the test
Which one of us would be the best.
And sure enough the word came down
That he was playing in my town.
I left the team out in the street
And I went in alone to meet, Randy.
Randy…. Randy.

They said my speed was next to none
But my lightning peddle had just begun.
When I felt a hit that stung my wrist
The ball went flying by my wrist.
And I was looking down the bore
Of the deadly 84, of Randy.
Randy… Randy.

They say that was the only time
That anyone had seen him smile.
He slowly lowered his hand and then
He said, we’re even friend.
And so at last I understood
That there was still a spark of good, in Randy.
Randy…. Randy..

I blocked the path of his retreat,
He turned and stepped not missing a beat.
A million New England fans were jaded
A moment later, he was traded.
The Vikes began to shoot and cheer
No one in Boston shed a tear, for Ringo.
Randy… Randy.

The story spread throughout the land
That I had beaten Randy’s hand.
And it was just the years they say
That made me put my cleats away.
But on game day they can’t explain
The tarnished star above the name, of Randy.
Randy… Randy.


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Vikings Zygi Wilf – Whatever It Takes

Posted by LOTGK on August 20, 2010

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Zygi Wilf - Stayin Alive

All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado
Trying to keep up the smile that hides a tear
But as the sun goes down,
I get that empty feeling again
How I wish to God that you were here

Brett come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Brett come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can’t live without you

Guess who’s Back In Town?
Yes Viking fans, just as Viking Thunder predicted back on January 2nd, 2010, Brett Favre is back in purple ready to lead the team to the promised land. What, you don’t believe me? Then check this link, (Grassy Knoll Institute 50 Bold predictions For 2010) read prediction number 13, and then return back. Go ahead, I’ll wait. See, I told you so.

So Brett is back in town after snagging a ride on the Viking company jet with the help of three Viking players that traveled to Mississippi to bring Brett home to the Dome. Favre announced that he owed the Viking organization one more season and that he would suit up and play. He stated he hoped his ankle was healed enough to take the beating of an entire season. But hey, Brett never missed a game in his career. And this is his 20th season so no worries right?

What, Me Retire?

Alas, there is trouble in Purple Town. The same day Favre returned, a report leaked out that Favre and several of the offensive players did not respect coach Brad Childress. (Perhaps it’s from the same unknown source that had Favre texting that he was retiring) The chum is in the water and the sharks smell blood.

As Chief Brody lamented in the movie Jaws, “We need a bigger boat,” the Vikings have bigger fish to fry. Sidney Rice is still hobbled nursing a hip injury. Adrian Peterson hasn’t put in a strong training camp nursing an injury as well. (Hey Adrian, a bruised ego doesn’t cut it as a legitimate injury) V. Shaincoe is also out. And Percy Harvin has been absent almost the entire training camp due to a death in the family and recurring migraine headache attacks. Just yesterday, Harvin had to be taken off the field by ambulance as he collapsed on the field.

What the Hell is happening in Purple Town?

September 9th is right around the corner and the Vikings travel back to the place they lost the championship game. Back to the place where several players, (Sharper) predicted more pain and late hits on Favre. Back to the place where Favre threw his last pass in his illustrious career. There will be blood! Bad blood. On both sides. The referee’s will be tossing hankies all evening. Are the Vikings prepared for this onslaught against the Super Bowl champions? Let’s have a look-see.

Last week, the Vikings traveled to St. Louis for their first pre-season contest. The Rams looked exactly like they did last year. A 1-15 team with a lot of expensive high draft picks. Tavaris Jackson played sparingly but Sage Rosenfels had significant play time. He passed for over 300 yards, 3 touchdowns, zero interceptions, and over 70 percent completion percentage. However, it was against the Rams.

The defense stymied Sam Bradford, the #1 over all pick in the draft as well as the rest of the offense. If not for the 93 yard punt return, the Rams would have been shut out.

Speaking of the 93 yard punt return! WTF Childress! The Vikings year in and year out have the worst special teams in the NFL. Period! Keep this in mind when you take the field in-game one and kick or punt to Reggie (Kim Kardashian’s ass wasn’t good enough for me) Bush.

Toby Gerheart, All State insurance should be contacting you for commercial spots. You got good hands dude.

The defensive line is the best in the league. I said it and I meant it. From the starting four to the depth, the D-Line is the best you can get.

Brett Favre is back in town, and the circus media have erected their big top tents have more than a one trick pony to report on these days. Not just Brett Favre returning, but the news leak of players not respecting Childress, Peterson feeling slighted, Harvin and his migraines, Twitter wars between the Saints and Vikings players each predicting pain for their opponents, and of course the stadium issue.
God Damn It! We need a bigger boat!


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Frantic 911 Call

Posted by LOTGK on August 4, 2010

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And So It Begins

Minneapolis 911 Call Center: (Phone Ringing)
911 Operator: Minnesota 911 Emergency Center, what is your emergency?
Frantic Caller: Help me please. I’m being held hostage against my will!
911 Operator: Sir, that is what ‘Hostage” means.
Frantic Caller: No, I mean an anonymous phone text was just aired all over the sports networks claiming that Brett Favre may or may not have called it quits.
911 Operator: (To her supervisor) Chief, we have another Brett Favre situation on our hands.
Chief: Damn that Favre. Damn him all to Hell. We don’t have the resources to respond to the amount of calls this Jackass generates.
911 Operator: Err, Chief. The caller, he can hear you!
Chief: Yes, right then. Tell the caller that Brett Favre will return to the Vikings after the heavy lifting of training camp is complete and that he will play this season, no matter what any network bobble head reports.
Frantic Caller: Yes, I heard. Thank the Lord.

This Sunday, the traditional NFL Hall Of Fame football game kickoffs in Canton, Ohio. Coincidence that the ultimate media whore, Brett Favre, like the swallows returning to Capistrano every year, is once again entrenched in retirement controversy. I think not.

Here’s the skinny Viking fans: A bobble head reporter announced that Brett Favre is retiring. How did this bobble head know this information? Because of a Phantom text message Favre supposedly sent to several Viking team mates saying, “This is it!”

Perhaps this text was completely taken out of context. What if Favre was sending Jenn Sterger a picture of his penis with the title header, “This is it!” See how a simple text message can be misconstrued? I thought so!

Note to Brett.
It’s OK. We understand what you’re doing. You want to play another season for the Vikings but you don’t want to go through the grueling training camp. How do you do this without looking like a douche bag to your team mates? Use your ankle injury as a cover story. Announce that it is not yet 100% and you won’t make that decision until it is. And that should be right around August 25th, just a few days before the third pre-season game.

Side Note: I believe Childress and Favre have a gentlemen’s agreement this season. Favre will come to camp at the end of August and resume his position as starter. Otherwise, Childress would have certainly pursued McNabb or one of the high profile rookie quarterbacks in the draft. The Jackson and Rosenfels experiment is over. Mark my words Viking fans. Tim Tebow will be a star in three years.

Contrary to popular belief, there are other players on the Vikings, and one of them has an expanding ego problem. Can you guess who I’m referring to? Go ahead, think a moment or two. (Tick-Tock) It’s Adrian Peterson! After the Favre retirement story broke, Peterson was interviewed not concerning his play, his knee, or his propensity to fumble, but who he wanted to quarterback the Vikings.

You could tell Peterson was ticked at that line of questioning. It made him out to be just another player on the team, just another running back worshiping at the Favre altar. Peterson retorted something to the effect, “Who do I want handing me the ball. Favre of course.” Peterson also added this ego boost by saying, (Paraphrase) That’s like if I decided to say, I’m done playing. Of course the team would have a better chance at winning if they had me on the team. But I want to stay focused on camp.

Where’s my phone, I have a 911 call to make…..


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