Grassy Knoll Institute

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About Us


I'm Watching You

Grassy Knoll Institute, Home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory.

We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers. Hurry, supplies are limited at these prices. Use the category links on the left to guide you to the summit of our vast knowledge. And quit calling me Shirley.

The Grassy Knoll Institute is not run by a really good tasting corned beef sandwich alone. We have a consortium of rocket scientists listed below that provide vital information to educate the citizens of the world.

LOTGK – Curator, the creator (The RoyKirk)(Your logic is impeccable, we are all in grave danger!) of the Grassy Knoll Institute. We are not exactly sure what his duties are but we believe they are largely ceremonial at best.

XTAP59 – Alter Ego of the Curator. He is the sports end of the blog.

Patty – The Beauty, Brains, and Bankroll of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Without Patty, we would be nothing but a seedy two bit porn site. (You had me at porn)

Lead Scientist – Our #1 Rocket Scientist. His duties include but not limited to the following sections of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Acting C.R.O. (Chief Risk Officer) Active C.B.O. (Chief Bullshit Officer) But he spends most of his time as the C.T.I. (Chief Titty Investigator) He also drives a Ford F-150 truck.

JungleJim69 – The Grassy Knoll Institute Ambassador to all nations. (Except for fucking France)

Gumby – Censorship Monitor. Mandates that absolutely no nudity is shown on the Grassy Knoll Institute until he sees and studies it first. (This can take up to a weeks time!)

Thunder – Resident feline of the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll institute. An NFL Guru, lover of water, and the blow dryer. Picks the NFL winners week in and week out.

Stormy – Resident Fat Cat. Literally! This cat is 19 pounds. He is our Language adviser, Speaker of tongues, eater of treats.

Gort – Enforcer. Those of you of the other blogospheres, heed Gort’s warning or your blog will be reduced to a burned out cinder.

Mr. Beamis – Editor-In-Chief. Reads every word of every post before it goes to print on the Grassy Knoll Institute. Looking for a good pair of glasses.

Agnes DiPesto – Secretary. When you call in you hear, “You have reached the machine of Agnes DiPesto. Please wait for the beep, then state your manifesto.”

BOB – Spiritual Adviser. Ask Bob abut his tattoo. Bob loves breakfast cereal, the woods, and the owls. Bob knows the meaning of garmonbozia. His best friend is Mike. And he has a killer personality.

Perry Mason – Legal. Attorney Mason has yet to lose a case for the Grassy Knoll Institute. Don’t freaking mess with us.

Kanamits 812 – Catering. Providing dinner from one to six billion people. Free of charge. Includes one free space ship ride. (Not to be confused with a free mustache ride)

Albert Gore – Net Provider.

Shirley – I told you to quit calling me Shirley. Surely, you understand this by now.


Powered By A Really Good Tasting Corned Beef Sandwich
LOTGK 1995 – 2016

46 Responses to “About Us”

  1. dooohhead said

    Nice new site ya have here. I’ve updated the link of LOTGK to this new one on my blog.


    LOTGK Replies:
    Thanks Doooh

  2. horatiox said

    More Bavarian Illuminati! More Bavarian Illuminati!

  3. ConnieGuy said

    well the boys and girls of Pa Ave arn’t hiding under their bunkers yet… just hiding period… idiots… I’ve been reading with enjoyment several of your great (funny) stories. can’t wait to get back for more .. .. ‘bumper skiing’ brought back some memories and side splitting laffter!… my son .. reading over my shoulder says… “mom ! way cool .. when’s it gonna snow? .. I could get good at that!!”… Thanks for a fun place to land my space ship!

  4. LOTGK said

    Connie, Thank you for reading and commenting on our humble site. We are glad you like it. We have fun bringing worthy news to the Internet.

  5. bibomedia said


  6. Doug said

    Hey…thought you might like this pic from the Seattle P.I.
    for your Giant Aliens series:



  7. LOTGK said

    Doug, great photo. Thanks.

  8. Ty said

    hey, we have linked to your story. we find it very interesting and funny. you are also nominated as one of the most useful websites, and we hope you will be willing to accept award if given to you.

    i didnt know where to send this so i put it here. great logic! yeh

  9. LOTGK said

    LOTGK: I’ll have to build a bigger trophy and award case….

    Lead Scientist: What trophy case?

    Patty Whatever! Just keep it out in the garage.

  10. EFX2 said

    Are you the cause of EFX2 Blogs demise? If so, you are a real shit. You left, got kicked out, so leave us alone.

  11. Gumby said

    I heard the French bought efx2 from keith for $7.14 and paid through paypal.

  12. Alex said

    Hey, came across your site and thought you might enjoy this video from The Vacationeers on YouTube. Its about Google Sky and how the characters stumble across a Moon Landing Conspiracy. Check the link below.


  13. LOTGK said

    Hello EFX2,
    You asked if I was the demise of EFX2. No, the French were responsible.

    Second part. Since we already determined that the French were responsible, I am not a real shit. Or, a fake shit.

    Part three. No, I right. Not left.

    Part Four. (This had gotten complicated) I did not get kicked out. I left long before Napoleon and Josephine (Keith and Cunt) did their Modblog thing on the community.

    Keith and Cunt. K and C… KC…. and the sunshine band. Shake, shake, shake,…Shake your booty

    Part Five. I did leave you alone asshat. I said I would never post there again and I meant it and kept my word.

    Don’t blame me for the sloppy code efx2 is written with. Or the server that efx2 is leeched on. Or that Keithy goes AWOL for months at a time leaving the crappy service in the tank. Blame it on the rain, blame it on Rio, bang the blame, just don’t blame me.

    I warned all of you Keith loving assholes about him two years ago. No one listened. Now I laugh at you with a hearty hi ho silver Lone Ranger laugh…..

  14. Valdunagan said

    You should have put this post in your predictions for 2008. How right you are, or were. Or whatever.

  15. rafi said

    Sir Good Morning,

    with your kind permission, I take a liberty to introduce myself :-

    I am Rafi from UAE (Dubai). I am working as Data entry cum Account assistant.

    I can Twist or roll my tongue in any shape(flower,boat,spoon,shell) and also I can make split my tongue as world smallest tongue and i can move my nose,ear,neck for long time, totally I would like to say title .i.e., wonder and movement of the” five sense organs”. I can send(if you requiered) scanned copy of the Certificate, photographs (from2003 to 2007) and local news paper (khaleej times) report for your perusal please. Further my record has been registered in the UK book of Records aggreed with uk based famous book(‘believe it or not’)

    I further want to perform my event in other parts of World including UK . Can some please guide me in the matter for organizing the event or publishing my news in the Local Newspaper, Magazine or electronic Media or can u just intimate me the organization or event management who organize these types of event/festivals.

    Sir, I need blessing for my coming event.



    My personal e-mail ID.

    Note:-If you required any more information or picture please don’t hestitate to contact me.

  16. rafi said

    the world largest tongue trick man

  17. LOTGK said

    It must be a full moon out tonight. But sure, impress me.

  18. D-Advocate said

    WTF? Is this guys tongue the longest or the shortest. He says he has both.

  19. The Truth said

    Your jealous of EFX2 blogs and of Keith. WordPress sucks dick and you know it. You settled for worpdress because Keith wouldn’t let you back in EFX2. So quit spreading your stupid lies about us here.

  20. LOTGK said


    You have things so distorted, you don’t know your head from your ass. (Neither does anyone else, that’s why they call you butt ugly)

    But to reply, ho hum,…..

    I am not jealous of efx2. Quite the opposite. Let’s compare shall we.
    My service,, offers me a very solid base that is up 99.9% of the time. EFX2 blogs. Well, it goes down more often than a $20 dollar hooker.

    When WordPress experiences some technical difficulty, a team of geeks (And I use the term geeks in a loving manner) are set to task to fix the glitch and keep the network up and running. EFX2 blogs. Well, the site can go silent for months at a time without being fixed.

    I also want to point out to you that efx2 is written on code. Keith rewrote the code to suit his community, (Cult) and that therin lies the problem with it. The code he added is weak, or corrupted causing efx2 to crash.

    In a nutshell, I am glad as hell I left when I did. People who were throwing rocks at my blog back then are just now realizing they were dead wrong about Keith.

    Lastly, I don’t remember a screen name “The truth” on efx2 blogs. Hiding behind aliases are little baby’s games. (Bruce Springsteen, Rosalita)

  21. The Truth said

    admit it. you hate everyone at efx2. you hate keith and the community members. Your jealous of his success. you backed the wrong horse and now you think we all forgot the shitty things you said to us. we didnt forget.

  22. Gumby said

    I’m willing to chip in to buy this asshole some capital letters.

  23. LOTGK said

    To reply to “The Truth.”

    #1) I do not hate everyone at EFX2. In fact, I made some very good friends there. Many migrated over from Modblog.

    #2) I don’t hate Keith. I feel sorry for him. He’s married to that shrew of a wife.

    #3) I do not hate the community leaders. Hell, I was one of them until I left. Trust me, I do not hate myself.

    #4) Jealous of his success? What success? Unless you mean asshats like yourself coming here complaining to me because your blog service is broken once again.

    #5) I did not back the wrong horse. I bet on Big Brown to win the Derby. I also chose as my blog home. Look, you came here, read the blog and commented. The service was / is working, and quite quickly at that.

    #6) All the shitty things… I think you are confused. Let me refresh your puny memory and distorted reality. Just click the following link to read the last post I made on EFX2 back in December of 2006. I also have the previous three entries as well along with comments they made about me, but I’ll just let those lie, OK Froggy.

    Here’s the link: EFX2 Blog Debacle Redux

  24. ulla said

    where’s rafi?

  25. LOTGK said

    Still waiting semi patiently for him to reappear.

  26. Evelyn said

    So what I wanna know is, where d’ya get a really good corned beef sandwich around here?

  27. Gumby said

    Pat, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  28. theunhappycamper said

    I love this site. Great stuff. I could sit here and read for hours.🙂

  29. Max Jackl said

    I see you have added a few thing a ma jigs to your site. And are you saying that I am a cave man?

  30. Stasha said

    Are those your eyes. They look sinister.

  31. Kathy said


    Do you mind if I link to your site from my fashion sites?



  32. Latanya Corneluis said

    Real great visual appeal on this internet site , I’d rate it 10 10.

  33. Andrew Joseph said

    Howdy, i study your weblog occasionally and i personal a comparable one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much recently it is driving me mad so any assistance is really much appreciated.

  34. Ted said

    I enjoyed your comments on boots bell.

  35. Keith said

    When is this page going to come alive again?


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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"


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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory


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