We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers. Hurry, supplies are limited at these prices. Use the category links on the left to guide you to the summit of our vast knowledge. And quit calling me Shirley.
The Grassy Knoll Institute is not run by a really good tasting corned beef sandwich alone. We have a consortium of rocket scientists listed below that provide vital information to educate the citizens of the world.
LOTGK – Curator, the creator (The RoyKirk)(Your logic is impeccable, we are all in grave danger!) of the Grassy Knoll Institute. We are not exactly sure what his duties are but we believe they are largely ceremonial at best.
XTAP59 – Alter Ego of the Curator. He is the sports end of the blog.
Patty – The Beauty, Brains, and Bankroll of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Without Patty, we would be nothing but a seedy two bit porn site. (You had me at porn)
Lead Scientist – Our #1 Rocket Scientist. His duties include but not limited to the following sections of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Acting C.R.O. (Chief Risk Officer) Active C.B.O. (Chief Bullshit Officer) But he spends most of his time as the C.T.I. (Chief Titty Investigator) He also drives a Ford F-150 truck.
JungleJim69 – The Grassy Knoll Institute Ambassador to all nations. (Except for fucking France)
Gumby – Censorship Monitor. Mandates that absolutely no nudity is shown on the Grassy Knoll Institute until he sees and studies it first. (This can take up to a weeks time!)
Thunder – Resident feline of the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll institute. An NFL Guru, lover of water, and the blow dryer. Picks the NFL winners week in and week out.
Stormy – Resident Fat Cat. Literally! This cat is 19 pounds. He is our Language adviser, Speaker of tongues, eater of treats.
Gort – Enforcer. Those of you of the other blogospheres, heed Gort’s warning or your blog will be reduced to a burned out cinder.
Mr. Beamis – Editor-In-Chief. Reads every word of every post before it goes to print on the Grassy Knoll Institute. Looking for a good pair of glasses.
Agnes DiPesto – Secretary. When you call in you hear, “You have reached the machine of Agnes DiPesto. Please wait for the beep, then state your manifesto.”
BOB – Spiritual Adviser. Ask Bob abut his tattoo. Bob loves breakfast cereal, the woods, and the owls. Bob knows the meaning of garmonbozia. His best friend is Mike. And he has a killer personality.
Perry Mason – Legal. Attorney Mason has yet to lose a case for the Grassy Knoll Institute. Don’t freaking mess with us.
Kanamits 812 – Catering. Providing dinner from one to six billion people. Free of charge. Includes one free space ship ride. (Not to be confused with a free mustache ride)
Albert Gore – Net Provider.
Shirley – I told you to quit calling me Shirley. Surely, you understand this by now.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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LOTGK 1995 – 2016