Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Worst Fireworks Prank Ever

Posted by LOTGK on July 4, 2011

Worst Fireworks Prank Ever

Happy Independence Day!

As the day light slips into night this evening and you begin your annual preparation to light up the skies with fireworks, please use common sense and caution when lighting your fireworks displays.
* Always read the caution labels.
* Always have a bucket of water or hose available just in case.
* Never carry fireworks in your back pocket.
* Never attempt to re-light a firework that doesn’t ignite or malfunctions.
* Do not throw fireworks at the crowd.
* In fact, don’t throw fireworks period.
* Don’t smoke when lighting fireworks.
* Don’t drink and light fireworks.
* And for God’s sake, never, ever, place the last red firecracker of the evening into the mouth of your sleeping girlfriend passed out on the couch. The results are never the outcome anticipated.

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

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8 Responses to “Worst Fireworks Prank Ever”

  1. dooohhead said

    I think this is the reason why we can’t buy them in Canada anymore, eh…

  2. Rich said

    It looks like fireworks are banned this season for most of my home state of Texas. This has to do with the terrible fires raging across the state. They should be banned here in Mexico where I now live. It is very hard to distinguish arms fire from the fireworks so we never know if cartels are having a shootout or this only marks a local celebration.

    • LOTGK said

      Bummer. Since I live in Ohio, and we had like 48 feet of rain in April and May, I mistakenly assume that other states received plenty of rain as well. I hope the fires get under control.

  3. Gumby said

    The real reason Peter Brady and Adrianne Curry got a divorce.

  4. Rico Swaff said

    Good lord, I wonder what that dude’s mouth would look like after that. He would have like…fingers for lips.

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