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Real Scary Houses To Avoid For Halloween

Posted by LOTGK on October 31, 2010

Doing Sexy Halloween Since 1998

As you take your children trick or treating this Halloween, pay close attention to certain caveat’s of the houses you permit your offspring to visit. Some of them are NOT what they appear to be.

The Grassy Knoll Institute offers this Halloween Trick or Treat guide on what doorbells to avoid ringing this Halloween. Pay close attention, this guide may just save your life.

Worst Treat Ever

If you see this sign in the yard, unless you really like rabbit stew, keep on walking down the street.

Willy Wonka

Willy Wonka never passed out candy for Halloween. And even if he did, you would have to have a golden ticket to enter. Do you have a golden ticket? No! Then move on.


Cue the Jams theme. I salute this person who has the absolute best home security system.

Coffin Cupboards

If the owner of the house invites you in and you see the kitchen cabinets are made from funeral caskets, get the Hell out of the house ASAP.

You Ain't Hansel

Note to all children: There are no houses made out of gum drops and ginger bread. And who wants gingerbread for Halloween anyway. It ranks right up there with Charlie Brown getting a rock.

Rural Haunts

If perchance you find yourself on a deserted farm road with life like scarecrows scattered across the field, it’s time to fire up your John Deere and get the back to the suburbs.

I Need A Heart

I have to say it. You’re not in Kansas anymore. Never bang on a house door where the lights are turned off. Those people do not want to participate in Halloween. If you continue knocking, the heartless owner may get angry.

Isn't It Obvious

I’ll point out the obvious for all the “Newbies” out trick or treating tonight for Halloween. If the next house you plan on visiting for candy has teeth for a door, and eyes in the windows, it’s a trick. Move on to the next house.

Tale Tale Signs

If in your travels happen by a telephone pole in the neighborhood looking like this, perhaps you should try another street.

Mass Quantities

Public Awareness Announcement:
This house will not give trick or treaters proper candy. Instead, prepare to receive six packs of beer, mass quantities of cigarettes, and perhaps a quart of oil.

There are more houses you may need to avoid. Listen to your parents tonight use their judgment on what houses to visit and what ones to stay away from.

Happy Halloween – Samhain


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2 Responses to “Real Scary Houses To Avoid For Halloween”

  1. Gumby said

    LOL, here’s a nice hot steaming bowl of rabbit stew for Halloween.

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