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NFL Wild Card Weekend January 2010

Posted by LOTGK on January 10, 2010

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jared allen from the future

Jared Allen In 25 Years

Ever wonder what Jared Allen, resident Minnesota Viking “Mullet Wearin” all pro defensive end will look like in 25 years? Now you know!

Today, Chad Johnson changed his name yet again. If you remember, last week Chad claimed that if he were shut down by Jet corner Revis, he would change his name back to Johnson. Last week, he had zero catches. In our book, that meant shut down. Today, in the rematch, he caught only two passes for under 30 yards. He promptly changed his name to Chad Owned.

The Jets move on to the next round even though coach Rex Ryan claims they have no chance in the playoffs.

Moving on, the Saturday NFC Wild Card game had another rematch. The Eagles traveled to Texas to take on the Cowboys hoping for a better outcome. Last week they got their asses kicked losing 37-0 and the game wasn’t that close.

Here’s the scoop. The Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game since 1996 while the Eagles never lost a first round playoff game under the guidance of Donavan McNabb. Both those statements are now untrue. Cowboys dominated the Eagles and will travel to Minnesota for the Divisional round playoffs.

Sunday brought even more surprises. The New England Patriots were ready to quote Edgar Allen Poe, but the Ravens had a little something else in mind. On the first play from scrimmage, the game was over as the Ravens running back Rice took it to the house and a 7-0 advantage. They would not look back. All Brady could muster up at the end of the game was, “It was the beating of Ray’s hideous heart!” Quote the Pats nevermore.

To finsih the Wild Card weekend, there was a shootout in the desert between the Packers and the Cardinals who failed to bring along their defensive units. Both Rodgers and Warner combined for over 800 yards of passing and nine touchdowns. How fitting the final Wild Card game wound up in overtime and the Cardinals winning on a fluke play to win. 96 points scored, 96 tear drops for one team, to be crying.

Next week Baltimore travels to Indy, and maybe the head coach will allow Peyton to play this week. Perhaps he will want to hold him out to the super bowl to avoid injury. The Jets fly to San Diego to take on the angry Phil Rivers, who is pissed as the forgotten one. The jets are just happy to be there. And they happen to have the best defense in the league.

The Cardinals, coming off a 51 point effort go to the Big Easy looking for some gumbo. The Saints are rested, relaxed, and ready. Warner or Brees, both great quarterbacks, may put up another 90 point offensive explosion. Meanwhile, the Vikings, led by the 40 year old Favre, are healing and preparing for a Cowboys visit. The Cowboys coming off their first playoff victory in 14 years, are confident. Jared Allen, all pro defensive end, may have something to say about that confidence.

Until next week, two teams were crying…,

Too many teardrops for one team to be cryin’
Too many teardrops for one team to carry on
You’re way on top now
Since you sacked me
You’re always laughin’
Way down at me
But watch out now
I’m gonna get there
We’ll be together
For just a little while
And then I’m gonna put you
Way down here
And you’ll start cryin’
Ninety-six tears

SKOL VIKINGS!

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4 Responses to “NFL Wild Card Weekend January 2010”

  1. Dan & G said

    That is one hell of a mullet.

  2. Max Jackl said

    I predict the Vikings to score 30 plus and the Boys under 20. There, I’m on your side.

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Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

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