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Modern Day Monsters Top 10 Plus One

Posted by LOTGK on October 22, 2009

halloweendzheader

The Halloween horror movie monsters of the past are no comparison to the brutes on today’s screen. Dracula, The Mummy, Werewolf, and Frankenstein have nothing on the new Monsters of Hollywood. Check out this chilling line up of the modern monsters shambling along the streets of Hollywood and Vine.

I'll Be Broke

Schwarzenegger

.
.

The Abyss. The Governator literally brings the entire state of California to the brink of financial collapse with his so called business intellect.
___________________________________________________________

David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff

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.

Planet Of The Hoffs. Astronauts from a suspended animation deep space mission crash land on an unknown planet and soon discover that the world is run by David Hasselhoff. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
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Spencer & Heidi

Spencer & Heidi

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The Hills Have Eyes! Ass Clowns Spencer and Heidi roam the countryside mutilating everything it their path as they proclaim to be the most famous people in Hollywood.
.
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Kanye West

Kanye West

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Invasion Of the Limelight Snatchers. Kanye West appears unannounced and uninvited to major Hollywood events stealing the limelight by interrupting awards and acceptance speeches.
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.
.
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Adnan Ghalib

Adnan Ghalib

The Invisible Man. Adnan is a wannabe celebrity manager fortunate enough to hook up with megastar Britney Spears. After several months of absorbing the limelight, Adnan is unceremoniously dropped by Britney leaving him alone. Adnan realizes that he is slowly becoming invisible as no one listens or pays attention to him. Slowly he becomes completely invisible resulting in him becoming mentally unstable and insignificant.

Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil

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.

Forbidden Planet. Dr. Phil at first seems hospitable enough as his guests are introduced to the marvels of the Krell alien race. Soon, the guests realize that Dr. Phil’s super ego created an invisible Krell Id monster to destroy them.
.
___________________________________________________________

Randy Quaid

Randy Quaid

.
The Fugitive. Randy Quaid, an innocent victim of blind justice. Falsely convicted for unpaid hotel bills, reprieved by fate when a train wreck freed him en route to a life in prison. Freed him to hide in lonely desperation, to change his identity, to toil at many jobs. Freed him to search for a one-armed man he claims is the real criminal. Freed him to run before the relentless pursuit of the police lieutenant obsessed with his capture.
.

Kevin Federline

Kevin Federline

,
,

The Blob. A small insignificant fleck of space debris begins consuming everything it touches growing larger and larger with each encounter. In time K-Fed is huge and he visits a movie theater making the movie goers run and scream in panic from the theater hoping not to get absorbed in the K-Fed haze.
.
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Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin

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Escape From Kate Gosselin. Jon “Snake” Gosselin, sentenced for stealing $230 thousand dollars from the bank begins a plot to escape the limelight and the clutches of his so-called dominating emasculating wife Kate.
.

O. J. Simpson

O. J. Simpson

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Predator. Former football star and Hollywood actor, Simpson involved in a high profile low speed chase for being a person of interest in the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman. After a lengthy trial, the public consensus was that O.J. was one ugly motherfucker.
.

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga

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The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Lady Gaga, with her gender bender costumes and concerts, is the reincarnated Doctor Frank-N-Furter, a bizarre and self-proclaimed “Sweet Transvestite” from Transsexual, Transylvania.

I remember doing the time warp,
Drinking those moments when.
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling.
Let’s do the time warp again.
Let’s do the time warp again!
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5 Responses to “Modern Day Monsters Top 10 Plus One”

  1. Gumby said

    Planet of the Hoffs. LMFAO.

    My favorite though is rocky Horror and lady Gaga.

  2. fracas said

    Thanks. Thanks a lot. I’ve been so traumatized by this list, I’ll never sleep again, and there’s no way I’m EVER getting up on a stage to accept an award now, knowing that reports of Kanye’s death were only a hoax.

  3. Anthony GTO said

    The Hills have ass clowns already. Heidi and Spencer have starring roles. This is a great new set of horror flicks.

  4. Green Hood said

    invasion of the limelight snatchers. The twist ending would be Kanye as the last unturned man in the world and he comes upon his old friend, and she turns and it’s Taylor Swift and she points at him and signals the aliens that it’s time to pay the fiddler.

  5. Green Hood said

    Yea, lady gaga is a man baby.

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