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Viking Man – Training Camp 2009

Posted by LOTGK on July 31, 2009

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Sung to the tune Rocket Man by Elton John

Wilf packed his bags last night pre-flight,
Zero hour 9 am.
But I’m gonna be gone…… from this town by then.
I miss the Vikes so much, I miss the fans,
It’s lonely out in camp,
On such a timeless plight.

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time,
Till football comes around again to find.
I’m not the fan they think I am at home,
Oh no no no, I’m a Viking fan.
Viking fan, screaming out my head up here alone.

LA ain’t the kind of place to watch the game,
In fact it’s dumb as hell.
And there’s no fans there to cheer them if they left.
And all this bullshit, I don’t understand
I’m just a fan seven days a week
A Viking fan, a Viking fan
And I think it’s gonna be a long long time…

The Brett Favre Minnesota Vikings open training camp today at 9am signaling the end of the Brett Favre circus as he waffles from interview to interview spewing chunks about his arm, his ankles, and wondering if he’s mentally tough enough to endure a 16 game season. Hey Brett. Two things here buddy. One, the Vikings didn’t want to sign you for 16 games. Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels can do that. They wanted to sign you for the post season games. And two, if you are already questioning your manhood before training camp even begins, let alone the season, then no, you are not ready to come back.
Asshat! And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Now, about Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper. (Kidding, just kidding!)

As usual, the Vikings #1 draft pick, receiver Percy Harvin is not signed as of this writing. Perhaps he fell ill on his way to sign his contract. Seriously, the kid hasn’t played a down yet but already has been absent from two organized events due to a sudden illness. Take a fucking aspirin and suit up already. You have the tools. You have the talent.

This year coach Childress promised to have a spirited competition at quarterback. Only problem is, both candidates are losers. Yes Viking fans. Losers! Jackson had his chance and categorically ruined his “Starter Status!” The wise old Sage has been riding the pine his entire 8 year career. Jay and Grant from Ghost Hunters have more spirit than these two guys. Hey, here’s a thought. Why not let Booty have a valid opportunity in training camp to make a name for himself.

I blame Childress for not pursuing a better option at quarterback than Sage. Perhaps Childress thought Lord Favre would come down from the mount and suit up in purple just because he once had a conversation with OC Bevel and that Childress once saw him throw one perfect pass while working out at a high school somewhere in Bumblefuck, Mississippi.

Speaking of Bumblefuck, just a little down the road from there the Williams wall of Pat and Kevin reside. The Starcaps debacle is still looming from last year. Damn! Godell allows Mike Vick back in the NFL but enforces a 4 game suspension on two guys that took supplements to lose weight.

On a sad note, Kenechi Udeze ended his come back attempt. I was rooting for him to make a successful return. His cancer is still in remission which is a god thing. Viking Thunder wishes Udeze all the best in his future endeavors.

On a side note, to Mr. Percy Harvin. The Vikings took a tremendous risk in drafting you. You do remember coming to the combine and testing positive for drugs don’t you? You are already in the NFL drug program. It would behoove you to sign and get on the field and commit to the team the same as the team has committed to you.


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12 Responses to “Viking Man – Training Camp 2009”

  1. Gumby said

    LMAO. Sage is the new hope for the Vikings. I feel for ya dude, I really do. I heard Harvin has a headache and cannot attend training camp.

  2. Viking Godz said

    I see Harvin is a hold out. I wish he would sign quickly to get on the field. If he misses much more camp, he will be left behind and he will not be utilized to his potential.

  3. LOTGK said

    Percy Harvin has signed today. Hope he makes it to practice.

  4. Jonny Dog said

    you should have gotten favre now your quarterback is hurt and out.

    • LOTGK said

      Jackson is not out for the season. He will be back in practice in a few days. Also, Rosenfels was brought in to compete with Jackson for the starter. Jackson may not be the starter.

  5. Garebo said

    Prediction-Sage jersey’s mid season. No one will believe he will sage us!

  6. New Harvey said

    The vikings dont have a shot in hell to be good this year. Lousy coach, lousy owner, lousy quarterback, equals losing team. 8-8 at best for the vikings.

    • LOTGK said

      Many teams would kill for 8-8. I don’t consider that lousy. Lousy would be your personality, and a 4-12 record. However, the Vikings will win at least 10 games this season.

  7. anon said

    who starts for the Vikings tonight, Dumb or Dumber?

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