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50 Psychic Predictions For 2009

Posted by LOTGK on January 2, 2009

As in previous years, the Grassy Knoll Institute has dusted off our psychic abilities and boldly peered into our psychic crystal ball of the future to reveal 50 shocking predictions for the 2009 year. What you are about to read may be shocking, profane, funny, and probably down right false. Then again, I was correct on many of my 50 predictions from last year. A far better average than those wannabee so-called psychics claiming to be clairvoyant hustling you out of your money. Let’s see how good I do for 2009.

50 Bold Predictions For 2009

1) Charles Manson, mass murderer, dies in jail.

2) Brett Favre will fake retirement yet again, but come back to play just one more year. BINGO! So far, Brett stated once again that he has retired for good this time. The second part will come true shortly. And it has. Favre has stated that he wants to play for the Vikings if his arm is healed 100%

3) The Boston Celtics repeat as NBA champions. Boing! Celtics did not repeat.

4) Dick Clark, legendary teenager from American Bandstand and icon for the New Years Day celebration on Times Square, dies.

5) Lindsay Lohan breaks up with DJ Sam Ronson. As Kathy Griffin put it to Anderson Cooper on New year’s eve, she likes Dick. BINGO! TMZ REPORTS TODAY THAT LINDSAY AND SAM ARE SPLITSVILLE. 01/05/2009

6) Pam Anderson will be  attacked by an anti PETA group and will have cows blood and raw hamburger meat splashed all over her body. She’ll ask for it to be cooked medium rare.

7) Scarlett Johansson, in an attempt to create a buzz for her slumping celebrity, exposes her boobs on a national televised awards show. Justin Timberlake is somehow involved.

8 ) Michael Jackson, legendary music entertainer, dies from unknown causes. A conspiracy just like Elvis, the king of rock and roll, will ensue. Sadly, success: Michael Jackson died on June 25th from an apparent drug overdose.

9) President Barack Obama will survive an assassination attempt.

10) The youngest Jonas brother (Nick) admits to having sexual relations. You can toss those purity rings out now.

11) Jerry Seinfeld makes a comeback and locks in a sitcom variety show on NBC. BINGO!!! Jerry Seinfeld is creating and executive producing a reality show tentatively titled The Marriage Ref for NBC, the network has announced.

12) Hillary Clinton, not Bill, gets caught cheating. And she will be wearing a blue dress. How ironic.

13) Country music phenom Taylor Swift winds up pregnant. And no, not by any of the Jonas brothers.

14) Miley Cyrus, the Hanna Montana star, is involved in a scandal concerning child porn and underage sexual relations.

15) A major cast member from the hit television series LOST will be arrested for DUI.

16) A new Stealth jet fighter will be revealed during military maneuvers.It will have light refracting abilities making it invisible to the naked eye.

17) A Youtube Satanic cult will be found. A series of innocent Youtube video’s when strung together, spell out Satan is Lord and master.

18 ) The MLB New York Yankees return to glory and win the World Series. Bingo! The Yankees defeated the Phillies to capture their 27th World series Banner.

19) The New York Giants and the Indianapolis Colts make the super bowl pitting brothers Peyton and Eli against each other. It will be the highest rated super bowl ever. BOING! MISSED THIS ONE. THE COLTS GOT SMACKED BY THE BOLTS IN THE WILDCARD. 01/04/2009

20) The Indianapolis Colts win the super bowl. BOING! MISSED THIS ONE. SEE ABOVE PREDICTION. 01/04/2009

21) An F5 category tornado rips through the Midwest leveling a town left in its wake.

22) The Panama Canal comes under attack and is closed to all traffic.

23) Farrah Fawcett succumbs to her cancer, but not without a tremendous fight. Sadly, Farrah passed away June 25th, 2009.

24) Bill Cowher, former Pittsburgh Steeler head coach, will reject multiple offers from NFL teams hoping to lure him back to the sidelines.BINGO!!! More than half a dozen teams attempted to lure Cowher back to the sidelines. So far, he has said no.

25) Terrell Owens, disenchanted with the Cowboys, causes yet another commotion and gets released opening his door to the Patriots.BINGO! COWBOYS RELEASE OWENS TODAY. 03/05/2009

26) Britney Spears has yet another meltdown. She will be involved in a lesbian affair.

27) The NFL Buffalo Bills, claiming lack of fan support, make plans to move to Canada.

28 ) Oil prices will continue to plummet and gasoline prices dip below one dollar per gallon.

29) Christina Aguilera is with child once again. Can her boobs get any bigger than they already are?

30) Paula Abdul gets fired from American Idol after acting erratically during the live broadcasts. Simon couldn’t be happier. Ratings go through the roof.BINGO!!! Paula announced this morning that she will no longer be on American Idol. 08/05/2009

31) A major ocean liner will be lost in the Bermuda triangle rekindling the wild rumors and legends of the fabled Devil’s Triangle.

32) Ameila Earhart’s remains will be found. A note written by Earhart will reveal what really happened to her finally putting to rest her mysterious disappearance.

33) Holly Madison, Playboy’s Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriend, gets pregnant. Don’t worry, Hef is not the father. Cris Angel, street magician is.

34) A child will be born with a DNA sequence not known of this earth. No, he won’t have a big red “S” on his chest.

35) A set of repeating signals not man made will come from outside the solar system will be discovered. The signals will be a mathematical sequence.

36) The rock band, The Monkee’s will get back together for a reunion tour. Mike Nesbitt will wear the stupid hat.

37) Ted Kennedy dies.BINGO! Ted passed away this morning, 08/26/2009

38 ) Mariah Carey gets divorced. Or has another nervous breakdown. You pick.

39) Jessica Simpson and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo break up. BINGO! Tony snapped the relationship on the eve of Jessica’s 29th birthday. They are officially splittsville. 07/13/2009

40) Elton John records a new album. Clay Aiken sings a duet with Elton.

41) Paris Hilton gets a little to much exposure in 2009. she is filmed nude on the beach and the film makes the rounds on the Internet.

42) Justin Timberlake accepts a deal from Saturday Night Live to host the show a half a dozen times for the 2009-10 season. Steve Martin gets pissed.

43) Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beil break up. Apparently she was tired of getting the same dick in the box present for birthdays and Christmas.

44) The Natalee Holloway murder case will be solved.

45) Tom Cruise finally gets the ride on the spaceship he has been waiting for.

46) Spencer and Heidi get married. For real this time. No one cares. BINGO! Spencer and Heidi announce their wedding date for this Saturday, April 25th. Not even Heidi’e best friend and co-star Lauren Conrad are going to the event.

47) Ozzy Osbourne wins a national debate. No one could refute what he said because no one knew what the hell he said.

48 ) Gene Simmons gets married to long time lover Shannon Tweed.

49) Boxer Mike Tyson makes a comeback. He eats three contenders before the Las Vegas boxing commission halts the comeback.

50) Paul McCartney, a former Beatle, admits that the Beatles pulled an elaborate hoax on the public with clues on their albums suggesting that Paul was killed and the surviving band members hired a look a like to carry on.

There you have it folks. 50 shocking psychic predictions for 2009 from the Grassy Knoll Institute. Check back to see my updates throughout the year as my predictions come to fruition. Or heavens forbid, turn out to be wrong.

Happy New year!


Back To Random Archives



253 Responses to “50 Psychic Predictions For 2009”

  1. omg said

    honey… idols ratings would go down the drains without paula. she is ratings gold, she Doubled martha stewarts ratings when she was on her show.

    • LOTGK said

      I call em as I see em honey. About the “Ratings gold,” Don’t you think Idol would spike in ratings every week as viewers tune in not to just watch the contestants, but to see Paula lose a little more control each week. About Martha Stewart, she has 11 viewers, doubling her ratings ain’t much.

  2. Those are some really good ones and I predict that 120% of them will come true.

  3. ulla said

    51) Michael Stipe will come out. Again.

  4. Chica said

    51. Stump the neener will be re-introduced

    52. Chica will be elated at the introduction.

    53. You may smile because of this comment, then think to yourself where the hell is that neener that everyone, especially you hold dear.


    • LOTGK said

      I am looking at a refit of the Stump The Neener series.
      I know you will be, remember, I’m a psychic.
      Neen, the Neener, is offline these days. I named the segment after her because she was so damn good at the game. BAM! I nailed it. But she didn’t do grills.

  5. ulla said

    54) what chica said.

  6. Bitzky said

    17) A Youtube Satanic cult will be found. A series of innocent Youtube video’s when strung together, spell out Satan is Lord and master.

    This would be cool, actually!

    54) A Moomin full feature movie smashes all box office records!

    • LOTGK said

      #54) I thought you were going to jump on the Cloverfield movie with all the speculation of what the monster was or looked like. I thought you were going to display a huge moomin.

  7. Betsy said

    Manson is dead already. He died a few years ago.

  8. Charles In Charge said

    Manson is not dead. He is still serving his life sentence in maximum security. Google it. You’ll see.

  9. coffee said

    number 6, dang gory

  10. Char said

    Okay, are you an actual physic?

    Im friends with Sam ronson, and her and lindsay are still together..

    and holly madison is no longer with criss angel..they broke up more than a month ago..shes not pregnant..

    And taylor swift getting pregnant? hahaha, miley cyrus sex scandal? please.

    Oh well..Im assuming this is just fun and games for you..

  11. LOTGK said

    This is not fun and games. It is an experiment in human behavior. So far I’m winning. The year isn’t over yet.

  12. Miguel said

    Just dropping by. Btw, you website have great content!

  13. Enchanted said

    Whoa!!! didn’t the tornado just happen.

    Isn’t miley always in some type of sex scandal?????

    Alien messages……. so believe it…

    DNA- A real life clark kent… this s*** ain’t just made for t.v.

    obama assassinated???? Hmmmmmmmmmmm. let wait and see and if he lives he’s the antichrist

    Gas Under A DOLLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re lying !!!!that just seems totally impossible LOL!!!!

    Keep up the good work.

  14. thehavok said

    looks like the celtics lost

  15. siddi said

    hi thr

    i need psychic advice.

    how can i contact u?


    • LOTGK said

      Just like that.

      And BTW, I knew you would be commenting here.

    • Marian said

      I would like to make a few predictions that will boggle the minds of people. The death of Natalie Wood will come to light again after the deat of Robert Wagner> A member of Natalies family will reopen the case.
      It will be found there are coincidence in thwe death of Princess Diana and Princess grace of Monaco both died at the same hospital. There is aphoto of Diana and Princess Grace a very erie an d fateful end to the two princesses.
      Princess Caroline will divorce her husband >
      Hollywood will uncover many of hoolyuwoods star lives when a movie comes out on a famous actresses life> It will be revealed that many actresses were murdered in this movie something which was kept secret for years. CHER WILL MAKE A MOVIE COMEBACK THE FILM WILL BE A SUCESS? Tragedy will strike the royal family once again a member of the royal family I see Prince Philip getting very ill and he will die circumstances will be unclear.

  16. siddi said

    how can i contact u “just like tht”?


    u knew i wud be commenting here…u dont even know me…OMG!

    can u tell me my age,gender,ethnicity, which country i m residing?

    if u can tell it right, i will get ur advice ! .. lol 🙂

    • LOTGK said

      OK, with my limited contact with you, I see a newness around you, and you live in a park like setting, and I see cliffs, on several sides.

      I am going to say you live in Cliff side Park, New Jersey.

      How am I doing so far?

      • siddi said

        yes..i do!

        did u get it from the ip address of the computer i m sending this message from?
        i know u did !…lol

        ok…if u can tell me my age and gender…i ll say u r the boss…lol


        • LOTGK said

          Siddi, it doesn’t work like that. My predictions are predicated on knowledge and familiarity of the events and person’s. You are asking me to be a fortune teller, which I am not.

          However, after looking at your replies, you are a male 18-22 years old.

  17. Psychic said

    Totally agree about Obama.

  18. carla said

    Very interesting…

  19. Nick said

    What happened to the Boston Celtics Predictions

  20. goatlady said

    When do you see gas prices going under a $? I would like to buy a tank so I can stock up before it goes back up, cause I know them oil idiots won’t let it stay low forever.

  21. will said

    michael jackson died!

  22. OsCzar said

    what arizona sports team will win the next championship, (college or pro)?
    by the way, hopefully the Yanks do win the Series this year, although you guessed the boston, and colts & giants in football and basketball.

  23. mjfan4lyfe said

    is nick of the jonas brothers really going to admit to a “sexual scandal”
    and can u tell anything about me??? just a question?

    • LOTGK said

      We have about 6 months to find out now don’t we?
      And yes, I can tell plenty about you. Just your screen name speaks volumes. But that is for another time.

  24. LOTGK said

    #39, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo split. It happened over the weekend folks. Tony is now flying solo.

  25. Eddy said

    Now maybe the Cowboys can win the super bowl without Yoko Simpson cheering for him on the side lines.

  26. 7 Months said

    Holy apeship. Your predictions are right on. You guessed Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett to die and Charles Manson and Dick Clark and Ted Kennedy. Thats two so far. Some of your other predictions were not so right. The Boston Celtics winning. But Ted almost died at the presidential inaugural ball.

  27. Screw U said

    BINGO! Michael Jackson died on June 25th from an apparent drug overdose.

    You say bingo, like its some sort of game, you should be ashamed of yourself, of your predictions, and your website. It sucks.

  28. Eve said

    Ya, um, I’m kinda psychic and there are these people called mermaidologists (also scientists) and they figure out how to make real “mermaids” by seperating DNA and all that scientific stuff. I say about 10-20 girls volunteering and stuff. A lot of it is classified…most of it so I go shh now..but I’m not sure cuz what I said sounds like it came out of a fantasy 😛

    Also, would you be able to tell where I live or what race I am or anything about my life?? That would be cool..

  29. Angler Aside said

    Isn’t one of the Jonas brothers getting married. I think you are right on this prediction also. Unless the marriage is going to be like Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie, sexless.

  30. IMamazed said

    Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for the predictions (GoOOo Yankees) anyways, this is the closest i have come to seeing real predictions. I was just wondering, will 2009 be a stepping stone for people such as myself with relationship problems and finance problems seek hope? thanks so much in advance..

  31. Ali said

    Hey, all I can say is wow. I can’t believe how accurate your predictions have been. I was wondering, will Patrick Swayze be dying this year? An could you say something about me, like where I live?

    • LOTGK said

      Ali, I only put forth 50 predictions a year. Swayze didn’t make the cut. You decide whether that’s good or bad. About info about you, well, the last time someone asked me, they got spooked because I told them exactly where they lived, their age, sex, and a few more tidbits. In lieu of that, I will kindfully decline.

  32. Siobhan said

    I’m not a Jonas fan but I really don’t see 10) coming true. For a start, Nick Jonas is 16, and will be until September (I looked it up). In California where he lives most of the time, the age of consent is 18. I don’t think he would admit to doing something he could technically be prosecuted for and it’s his business for a start so I don’t think he would publicly admit it, that’s just tacky. No one would know unless he got someone pregnant really, and then there would be no proof it was his baby either. So I’m pretty sure you can cross that one off too for the sheer ridiculousness.

    • LOTGK said

      It’s not like he’s going to go on national tV and announce. Reality is, the Hollywood media will drag out all the juicy details just like they do for every other story and Hollywood star. It’s only July, I still have time.

  33. tapout1307 said

    do you see any seattle sports team making it to the playoffs or wining a championship in the next few years

  34. Identity Hidden said

    Hello grassy knoll psychics. I have read your predictions and I must say I am somewhat impressed. I am hoping that you will have the time and the compassion to advise me in the ways of life. I am at a cross roads right now with my life and seek guidance as to what path I should choose.

    However, before I accept your advice, I would like to test your abilities. If you can answer these questions correctly, you will have my complete attention. I signed in as Identity Hidden so you couldn’t guess by my name.

    1. My age.
    2. Sex
    3. Marital status
    4. Location
    5. Income
    6. The car I drive
    7. Ancestry
    8. First Name
    9. Favorite food
    10. Favorite television program

    I know these questions will be difficult, but if you can do it, then you really are a wise psychic.

  35. Roll D said

    Waiting to see how you are going to answer this one lotgk, if you are going to at all, it looks like you declined the last request and it wasn’t nearly as hard as thism one.

  36. LOTGK said

    Identity Hidden said
    July 31, 2009 at 12:36 pm e

    Hello grassy knoll psychics. I have read your predictions and I must say I am somewhat impressed. I am hoping that you will have the time and the compassion to advise me in the ways of life. I am at a cross roads right now with my life and seek guidance as to what path I should choose.

    However, before I accept your advice, I would like to test your abilities. If you can answer these questions correctly, you will have my complete attention. I signed in as Identity Hidden so you couldn’t guess by my name.

    1. My age. 20! Give or take two years.
    2. Sex Female
    3. Marital status Single but seeing someone
    4. Location United States. Wait, you want more I’m sure. I see bears and Sears. You must live in Chicago.
    5. Income Under 25K per year
    6. The car I drive A trick question. You do not drive.
    7. Ancestry Not French! Wait a minute, European descent.
    8. First Name Ashley
    9. Favorite food Pizza
    10. Favorite television program Lost

    I know these questions will be difficult, but if you can do it, then you really are a wise psychic.

    Identity Hidden, I have answered your questions, and yes, they were very difficult. As I told someone before, I am not a fortune teller. With the very limited interaction of the Internet, it is very difficult to pick up the vibes of people, let alone see their name and age and the car that they drive. But there you have it. How did I do Hidden Identity?

    • Identity Hidden said

      Dear grassy knoll psychics, thank you for answering my questions. Now let me reveal how well you did and if you have gained my confidence.

      1. My age, 19 years old. Very good.
      2. I am female.
      3. I am single.
      4. I do live in Chicago, you could have retrieved that from my IP address but you are correct.
      5. I am a student, and yes, I make well under 25000 per year.
      6. I do not own a car but I do drive my fathers Honda Accord when needed.
      7. My family is of English descent.
      8. My name is not Ashley, nor does it begin with an A. It is Elizabeth.
      9. My favorite food is french fries.
      10. Lost is a very good show but CSI Las Vegas is my favorite.

      I am impressed, you got 7-10 correct. However, you failed on the most important ones, my name, my favorite food, and favorite TV show. I will let you know if I will seek out your guidance. Thank you answering once again. I will get back with you shortly.

      • Anti-christ said

        Damn girl, he was 7 out of 10. That merits at least a nod that he is better than most of the so-called psychics parading their wares gazing into crystal balls. He saw all that by one simple comment you made. That is pretty damn impressive for a mere mortal.

      • LOTGK said

        Well, I guess there is no pleasing you then! 😀
        I would believe that no psychic could get all the answers correct wthout more interaction with you. You had one comment that I had to go by and I got 7 out of 10. That’s damn good.

  37. Marie said

    Ur predictions are very good. Will miley cyrus really have a child porn scandel, i mean im kind of not suprise by it and can you say anything about me

    • LOTGK said

      Thank you Marie. What I see is this, a fashion magazine or movie producer will entice Miley into a more risque photo shoot than Vanity Fair was. The unused photos, ones that show to much skin or are to provocative will surface on the Internet causing a stir.

  38. LOTGK said

    30) Paula Abdul gets fired from American Idol after acting erratically during the live broadcasts. Simon couldn’t be happier. Ratings go through the roof.BINGO!!! Paula announced this morning that she will no longer be on American Idol. 08/05/2009

  39. LOTGK said

    And keep an eye on prediction #26, the one about Britney Spears in a lesbian relationship. She is hanging out with Lindsay Lohan.

  40. Max said

    I’ve been looking at your predictions since 2008 and I must admit this is the most reliable predictions i’ve ever seen.
    The day Michael Jackson died, I almost fell out of my chair i just cant believe how dead on you were.

  41. New Harvey said

    Anyone can write down 50 predictions and get them right. You dont post the ones you got wrong do you.

    • LOTGK said

      Well, lets put that to the challenge. Give me your 50 predictions and lets see how well you do. And I do post all my predictions, the ones that are correct, even the ones that turn out to be wrong. Read the predictions and you will see that i have been wrong on some already. However, you are an ass hat, and of that I can be sure of.

    • Max said

      Dude, these predictions were posted on January 2nd. What are you talking about, saying that he dosent post the ones he got wrong.

  42. Max said

    LOTGK, Do you have any EXTRA BONUS predictions?

  43. marggie said

    lots of people are saying that michael jackson faked his death, and that in a few years, he will make a historic event and appearance! is it true?

  44. LOTGK said

    #37) Ted Kennedy dies. Ted passed away this morning.

  45. Leah said

    Yeah we All could have predicted that one AFTER HIS BRAIN TUMOR WAS ANNOUNCED!!! LOTGK has done pretty well so far considering His prediction was in Jan. Good job Lotgk- when I heard I came straight to your sight to see if this was one of you predictions. You also did pretty good on ASHLEY/ELIZABETH I tried to “CONCENTRATE” my own answers and thought it was probably a 30 year old guy with nothing to do?? Keep it up – I will check back soon.

    • LOTGK said

      Thank you Leah.
      I posted my predictions January 2nd. Way before Obama’s inaugural ball where Ted Kennedy collapsed. In 2008 he came through his surgery very well and was well on the road to recovery. Yes, about Elizabeth, that is why I rarely accept requests like that.

  46. curious said

    just came accross this site maybe its fate but anything new these predictions were eye opening
    i know it sound horrible to ask what about me do you see anything and i am sorry but do you????
    thanks and really keep up letting your gift be known

    • LOTGK said

      Curious, I only reveal 50 predictions per year. No more, no less.
      And, like I have said earlier, I rarely accept private personal readings. It is very difficult to get a gauge from a single comment on a blog. It takes much more interaction than that.
      Not to mention that the last person that requested the same, I answered correctly 7-10 questions all from one comment and it wasn’t deemed good enough.

  47. Azazel said

    I read an article suggesting that they have indeed found evidence of Amelia Earhart’s remains on a small, remote island. Do a web search and you will find it. Nice guess.

  48. Can you guys derive these intuitions during sleep?
    Are any of you employed by a man name Mr.Hamlin?

    • LOTGK said

      No. Although I do have control over my dreams. I can manipulate them to whatever I want.

      Second question.
      No, we work for the Grassy Knoll Institute.

      • evershine said

        Isn’t that called lucid dreaming? though I havnt found any clear explanation as to why it happens!? Any views?

        • LOTGK said

          Yes, I would believe my dreams are lucid. However, I do not know how they become lucid, or how I control them, I just do. And it isn’t all my dreams, just certain ones and at different levels. Sometimes I can completely control and dominate the dream, change the rules, the characters, the environment, the outcome. In others, I know I’m dreaming, but can only control what I am doing. Others, I have zero control. It’s random.

  49. Jules said

    Just wondering – if my ex will come back to me or will ever marry

  50. Jules said

    Im a she – Will my ex return or if not – will i be with someone else

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