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Game 11: Vikings Defeat Jaguars 30-12

Posted by LOTGK on November 23, 2008

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Childress VS Williamson - Title Fight

Childress VS Williamson - Title Fight

In this corner, fighting out of the antiquated Minnesota Vikings stadium is Brad “Kick Ass” Childress. He brings an abysmal 19-21 record with him but has all the support of ownership and management. (And apparently plenty of nude pictures of Zygi as well) Childress stands a feisty 5′ 8″ inches tall (One inch shorter than the head elf at Santa’s workshop) and weighs in at 190 pounds.

The challenger, fighting out of Jacksonville, Florida is Troy, “Venus De Milo” Williamson. Troy sports a 4 catch 27 yard 2008 season but as his coach stated, Troy and I see eye to eye. Sort of anyway. Williamson stands at a solid 6′ 1″ inches tall and weighs an even 200 pounds.

The two met at Jacksonville stadium, 50 yard line, center field, Jaguars emblem, at 1 pm Sunday afternoon.

Viking Thunder reporters asked how the site was agreed upon, and Williamson stated that, “We can duke it out anywhere, but the 50-yard line is the perfect place.” However, Childress was concerned about fines and suspensions since this wasn’t a sanctioned bout. He was hoping for a buffer zone, so no matter what the outcome, he could continue his quest for a .500 season. Williamson also said he wanted a fluffer as well until he was told, “Buffer” not, “Fluffer.” (A term used in porn movies, usually a girl on her knee’s utilizing her oral talents to keep the male talent woody for action) Next he’ll be asking for a key grip and a best boy.

As usual for any boxing match, barbs were exchanged before the fight in hopes of getting into the head of one’s opponent. Childress asked Williamson how the Nike eye tests were working out. Williamson replied about as good as his kick ass offense. Williamson stated that he was so confident in the outcome of this match that he would fight Childress with both hands tied behind his back. Childress replied that is also how Williamson plays football.

Williamson stated that his age and conditioning and lightning speed will be more than Childress can handle. Childress countered stating that he had a few tricks on his clipboard and he wasn’t really concerned about Troy’s speed. He said, “My boxing gloves are football colored with white laces. Williamson will never see my punches coming.”


To his credit, Brad Childress and the Minnesota Vikings came prepared for this contest but alas Troy Williamson and the Jaguars were a no show.

The first 15 seconds in the first round, the Vikings delivered a brutal left hook picking up a botched snap and linebacker Harris rumbled 30 yards to the endzone for a quick score. The Jags took a standing eight count. Still in the first round, the Jags were knocked down once again as the Vikings connected with a straight right hand recovering a fumble on the kickoff. The Vikings scored seconds later as the Jags looked woozy and the referee was about to stop the contest.

The Jaguars survived the first round flurry of the Vikings and came out swinging in the second round. Jacksonville countered with a tremendous kick return and three jabs later, connected with a solid straight right hand from Garrard for a touchdown.

Late in the third round, the Vikings jabbed and jabbed and connected on long field goal to end the round. After three rounds, all three judges had the Vikings ahead on points.

In rounds four, five and six, heavy shots were exchanged but no knock down blows occurred as Jacksonville booted a short field goal. After six rounds, all three judges had the Vikings ahead on their scorecards.

Rounds seven, eight and nine had both teams exchanging blows but no heavy damage was done except for a short jab by the Vikings for another field goal. After nine rounds, all three judges had the Vikings well ahead and a knockout would be needed for the Jags to win.

Round ten opened with an extended flurry by the Vikings capping a 22 yard field goal. Round eleven was more of the same for the Vikings as they wore out the Jaguars with Peterson pounding it hard delivering another knockdown with a 16 yard touchdown scamper. In round twelve, the Vikings toyed with the Jags doing a little rope a dope electing to take a safety since they were well ahead on points.

The final score card had all three judges scoring the bout 30-12, Vikings, unanimous victors. All of this without Childress throwing a single punch at Williamson.

Observations Of The Game:

Gus Frerotte took a beating today. Perhaps this really was a boxing contest for Gus got knocked down half a dozen times.

I was hoping to see a version of the “Wildcat” offense implemented by the Vikings today.

Sidney Rice showed up today and played well.

Chester Taylor is a hell of a running back. I’m glad he is a Viking.

Was Adrian Peterson being punished today for his shouting match with position coach Eric Bienemy. If so, WTF Childress?

Shiancoe played well two weeks in a row.

With Cook on the bench, the Vikings did not have a single false start penalty called against them today.

The Vikings pass defense is pretty bad. Garrard picked them apart today.

I liked the reverses by Bernard Berrian. Open the playbook wide open Childress, its the press to the playoffs. Don’t hold anything back.

Special teams gave up big yards again today. Although they did have a fumble recovery, they allowed over 200 return yards today. Not acceptable at all.

The Vikings are 6-5, the Bears are 6-5, the Slackers play on Monday night, and the Lions are 0-11. Next weeks game against the Bears could very well be for first place in the division. Lets hope the Vikings can deliver a knockout blow to the Bears.


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One Response to “Game 11: Vikings Defeat Jaguars 30-12”

  1. Viking Godz said

    A fantastic Viking win. 14 points in the first two minutes, yeah! Was worried about Peterson on the bench but he missed a meeting on Saturday and Childress benched him for two series. Gus took a pounding but hung in there. Berrian is fast, needs to do more reverses and kick returns. Onward to the Bears, on national television. Peterson for 300.

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