Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Gas At $3.99 Per Gallon

Posted by LOTGK on July 9, 2008

gas prices at $3.99 per gallon

Click Photo For Larger Picture

After looking at the picture above, the Grassy Knoll Institute has to ask, who the hell is in control of the American people?

The picture above validates that the Federal Government is not in control of the citizens of the United States of America. Nor are the union’s of the country, nor General Motors, Ford, Chrysler, nor Congress, the Senate, the Supreme Court, not even President Bush. It’s certainly not the state governments. It’s also not OPEC, (As many people believe) the Middle East consortium that control the world’s largest oil reserves. Nope, none of the above.

That leaves only one mighty powerful conglomerate left in charge. The goddamn oil companies.

That’s right citizens. Don’t be mislead by what the media spoon feeds us every day. The Middle East has become the scape goat for the failing economy and skyrocketing gas prices. You would be surprised to find that the Middle East is not the main oil supplier to the United States. Our friends up North, Canada, is the #1 exporter of oil to the United States.

The American oil companies headed up by Exxon Mobil, (Exxon recorded profits of over $40 billion dollars last year which was the highest recorded profits from any company in history. Exxon’s profits were more than 120 countries) want to keep the oil flowing at escalating prices while squashing any new alternative energy options. Exxon’s motto should be, If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Don’t believe it? Take a look around. Does the United States have mass transit? Hell no! That would mean less oil and less profits. Americans drive to work, unlike other nations that use mass transportation. And look at the vehicles we are driving. SUV’s, trucks, gas guzzling luxury cars. Why is that? Because we don’t have any fuel efficient cars or reliable mass transit. Exactly where Exxon and the big oil companies want us.

To paraphrase Gordon Sinclair, a journalist from Canada in the 1960’s, “You take Japanese technology and you get radios, you take German technology and you get automobiles, you take American technology and you get a man on the moon and brought back safely, not once, but several times.”

The year was 1969 when we landed on the moon. Less than ten years later we debuted stealth jet fighters. And let’s not forget about the space shuttle and that gazillion dollar space station. And yet we cannot focus the rocket scientists brain power to design an electric or alternative fuel automobile.

The Grassy Knoll Institute politely replies, “Bullshit!” The technology is out there. (And I don’t mean that urban legend that a man in North Carolina invented a carburetor that when installed in your car increased gas mileage by over 100%) If NASA can read a license plate from space and design a Martian rover that explores Mars for years running on solar and electric power, an electric or alternative fuel vehicle can be designed.

And not one that runs for 50 miles before it needs a recharge. We got plenty of those pieces of shit. I’m talking about a mid size car that can travel 500 miles before a recharge with speeds exceeding 70 MPH. We have the technology, we have the know how, we have the goddamn rocket scientists. Just not the permission.

The only reason we don’t have George Jetson space cars is that the oil companies would have to relinquish power and control over the citizens of this nation.

My political platform is simple. The other so-called candidates won’t tread on this issue because they know it would doom their hopes of ever being elected. I am far more courageous than them.

if elected, I would immediately curtail all space missions, (No shuttle launches, no rockets, no probes, anal and otherwise) until NASA designs a vehicle that runs on electric, solar power, or an alternative fuel. That’s right, no more space flights of any kind until this new car is rolled out. I give it six months until NASA offers GM, Ford, and Chrysler blue prints for a mid size car that can travel over 500 miles on a single charge.

I would then demand the big three automakers to offer heavy rebates on trade in vehicles to help stimulate sales for the new electric car. In five years, the oil crisis will be over. Problem solved.


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5 Responses to “Gas At $3.99 Per Gallon”

  1. Bitzky said

    Welcome to the world of European gas prices. We had prices like this for a looooong time. And yeah, one can get around them but on the other hand in Europe mass transit is the way to go. And the distances are not that big. We usually build everything close to each other.

  2. Chica said

    That looks like a shopped gas sign, that’s about all I got from the photo. Reading your post was much better. I believe it is the best post I’ve read in awhile. Gold star for you man, I’d vote you for Prez, now go campaign! :p

  3. Gumby said

    You have my vote.
    Seriously, I know the 99 cent conspiracy site and all, buy you have a point here.

  4. Valdunagan said

    Add high speed train systems to the main cities and you have big time oil conservation. I would like to be able to get on a train.

  5. I agreed with you

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