Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

  • Kennedy Assassination, Flu Shot Virus, Big Foot, Lochness Monster, Beatles Hoax, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, Moon landing, and many more.

    Conspiracy Archives

  • We visit all the "Greasy Spoon" restaurants around the country rating each experience. Featuring Las Vegas, Chicago, San Francisco, Gatlinburg, Houston, New York, Youngstown.

    Blue Plate Special

  • 1960's Catholic grade school with mean Nuns as teachers was a recipe of pure Hell. I knew my mission in life the day I pulled Sister Ann Teresa’s habit off her head. I had to know what secret treasures lay hidden beneath.

    Catholic Nuns

  • Sexy Giant Aliens are roaming the Earth plotting to enslave humanity. View photographic proof Giant Aliens have already infiltrated the population.

    Giant Alien Invasion

  • We pay homage to the sexy actresses and their cleavage who starred in science fiction movies and television series.

    Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens

  • The LOTGK logo can be found all over the world. Even on a sexy girls ass.

    Find The Logo

  • Humorous personal life stories of the past, present, and future from a 50 plus year old who has seen everything. Almost!

    Inner Sanctum

  • Random tidbits of worthy news and photographs that don’t quite fit into any of the Grassy Knoll Institutes categories.

    Random Shots

  • Sometimes a picture is worth a thousands words. If they were only worth money!

    Postcards Edge

  • Rantings of a mad die hard Viking fan. No purple colored glasses for this fan.

    Viking thunder Rant

  • Classic vinyl record albums rescued from my basement. See what you have been missing.

    Classic Vinyl Records

  • Once a thriving vacation resort and young adult get-a-way spot, has succumbed to erosion. From the once beautiful beach to the town and businesses that dot the once vibrant strip.

    Geneva On The Lake

  • Brutal clips of faces of death, reckless driving, experiments documented, grass growing, public hangings, live executions, and clips of UFO’s flying above.

    Video Vault

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 89 other followers

  • Grassy Knoll Institute. Home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory. We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers. Hurry, supplies are limited at these prices. And quit calling me Shirley.
    Gatlinburg Guide
  • Random Hits

    • 4,710,907 Satisfied Surfers Since 10/06/2007
  • Current Hot Stories

  • Blogs I Follow

  • Time Travel

The Bug Light God

Posted by LOTGK on March 12, 2008

The year was 1980. A new decade and a new job. I was 20 years old and was one step into a sojourn that would last several years.

As the days got longer and turned into night, we, the warehouse workers, like moths to a flame, would gravitate toward the almighty bug light. Looking for inner peace, solace, wisdom, meaning, and a little relief from the biting bugs that lived and fed in Youngstown.

Since we had to work outside the warehouse as well as inside, the summer months were brutal with swarms of pests buzzing around. Biting flies, mosquitoes, moths, gnats, grasshoppers, locusts, bee’s, wasps, and every other flying insect under the sun would zero in on the only source of flesh and light in the vast farmland that surrounded us.

Every year, right around this time, to combat these bastards, we dragged out the giver of light and reliever of itch from the biblical swarms of insects. Thus the religion of The Eternal Bug Light was formed.

After several years, the bug light became an icon and more importantly, a God to us warehouse workers. If we were in the bug lights good graces, it would have pity on us and bestow its powers shining its light upon us and protect us by killing and keeping the insects away from us. If we were to ever fall out of favor with the almighty bug light, the consequences were so severe that no one talked about them, not even under our breath lest the bug light god hear us.

To keep the god happy, we needed to pay homage. This was in the form of an annual ceremony, a sort of Fry Me A Bug Light festival to appease the god. We would prepare the holy power cord for insertion into the electrical outlet. We would also arrange and then pay homage to the enchanted nail that magically kept the god suspended above us, and of course prepare a feast for the entire cult to consume.

The festival seemed to work as the bug light god kept us safe in the summer evenings as we heard the humming of electricity coursing through its wire mesh screens. Sometimes we would gather round our god and cheer as loud crackling and zapping noises would announce each new bug checking into the bug light hotel.

And not just bugs either. Our bug light god was a little dangerous because unlike normal lights, ours did not have a front or bottom screen guard to keep out larger objects such as a very unlucky bird or the bottom of someone’s head. The light was suspended just under 6 feet in the air, and tall worshippers who lost sight of where they were in conjunction with the light would get rudely introduced to their god. As in the bible, they would carry the mark of the beast for several weeks until the burn marks healed.

Alas, one evening, a large bird entered the radar screen of the bug light god. In an instant, the bird dive bombed into the light and got caught inside. High pitched zapping sounds were heard much like in the classic movie “Frankenstein” when the monster was struck by lightning in an electrical storm.

A huge battle had begun. The bug light flickered and hummed, summoning up all it’s power while the bird began screeching and fluttering it’s wings, till finally, both burst into flames sending the worshippers running. The bug light came crashing to the ground and we watched as the flames engulfed bird and light.

We were free of the bug light god, and a rule was sent forth that no more bug lights could adorn our warehouse wall. We stocked up on “Off” bug repellent and continued to have the festival that quickly turned into our annual lamb roast.

I can still hear and smell the bugs as they sizzled in the screens. Man, that was living….

Back To Inner Sanctum Archives


6 Responses to “The Bug Light God”

  1. Valdunagan said

    That was living. Not a care in the world. Young, care free. Good times.

  2. hodges-csi said

    wtf? the bird was on fire or the lite. how did the bird get in the cage. was it a swallow or sparrow bird a small one.

    • LOTGK said

      As stated, the light didn’t have a bottom or side screen on one side. The bird got caught and couldn’t escape. I think it was a blackbird. Medium size.

  3. Mary6240 said

    What do you mean the bird exploded.

    • LOTGK said

      Exploded! Yes, when it came into contact with the heat element, the bird burst into flames, and set the bug light on fire as well.

Leave a Reply: And your argument is

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"


Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.