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Paris Hilton Is Pregnant

Posted by LOTGK on December 9, 2007


Breaking news: Paris Hilton, unable to hide the news anymore, announced today that she is pregnant and will be getting married after several details are cleared up. Ms Hilton stated that after spending the last several weeks with her best pals Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Ritchie in Las Vegas partying the nights away, that it was time for her to settle down.

And why not! Now that her best pals are out of commission for the near future. Lindsay Lohan voluntarily checked herself into rehab to get her demons under control. Nicole Ritchie is also seeking treatment for an eating disorder. (Somebody get her a cheeseburger) And Britney Spears apparently getting her fill of the wild life, is returning home to continue to record her new album. And perhaps she will return to being a mother and reunite with her children.

From the looks of the photograph, Paris Hilton is only several weeks pregnant. Congratulations from the Grassy Knoll Institute.

Rumor has it that K-Fed is the proud pappa to be.

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LURKING, WEAR A CONDOM, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

6 Responses to “Paris Hilton Is Pregnant”

  1. Gumby said

    Larry Birkhead has claimed to be the father and is moving Paris into his apartment along with Dannilyn.

  2. Anon said

    This just in, Howard K. Stern says he wants to be the daddy and move Ms. Hilton to the Bahama’s.

  3. Valdunagan said

    Said it before, get to say it again, Sanjaya is the father of Paris Hiltons unborn child.

  4. LOTGK said

    Heard it was the Geico Caveman that got her knocked up, after a week moment when his TV show, Cavemen got axed after just two episodes.
    You know the saying, Paris is so easy, even a caveman can do her….

  5. SIGHTER said

    Sam the butcher, Alice’s main squeeze, has been making regular deliveries to the Hilton estate. Yes, he is the daddy.

  6. Max Jackl said

    Jack from Lost is the father, that is why he’s in hiding on the Lost island, and the reason why Ben and the others are experimenting on fertilization.
    There you go, the lost theory and secrets explained and all wrapped up nice and tidy like.

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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

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