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American Airlines Suck

Posted by LOTGK on December 3, 2007


My business in Las Vegas had ended and I was enroute to my next destination, the windy city of the Midwest, Chicago, Illinois. And just for Dave, that’s Illinois without the “S.” And who would have thought 15 bucks would have bought so much… Thanks Jerry! But, back to the business at hand.

Las Vegas to Chicago is a 3 hour and two minute flight. The taxi ride to McCarran airport was painless and I had plenty of time before my 6pm flight. And thank God I did have time for the American Airlines security check was easily 1000 people deep. Gate D was packed, with only one check point line manned. Glancing over to gate C, there was absolutely no waiting as five lines were open. Lucky bastard airline passengers.

After an hour and a half wait, it was my turn to take off my shoes, empty my pockets, put my laptop in a gray rubber tub, and pray to God that I didn’t get the dreaded “Beep” as I went through the medal detector. (I wonder if women, with piercings, get the dreaded beep? Do they then get searched? And what about the piercing in the “Nether” regions, how does one go about doing a sight on sight search?) I didn’t beep and continued to the monorail to the terminal.

We began boarding about 10 minutes late and I got lucky and scored a bulkhead window seat. It has about 5 more inches of leg room which was a key point since I have long legs. And who doesn’t want a few more extra inches? After several hundred people boarded, the cabin door closed and we backed away from the gate. Minutes later, we were on the runway and in the air. The captain came on and slurred some crap about the weather and that he was glad we all chose American Airlines as our choice of air carrier. Yada, yada, yada.

BTW, this is one of those Grassy Knoll Institute epic tales. As if you didn’t already realize that.

I settled in with my MP3 player and closed my eyes. Three hours later the Captain came on and announced that we were in a “Racetrack” holding pattern outside of Chicago and would stay in that pattern until there was room to land. Great! Oh well, I was just outside of Chicago, and it was only 11pm so no big deal.

Thirty minutes later, my bubble was burst. The captain again came on the air and announced that we still didn’t have clearance to land and now we were low on fuel and therefore, instead of allowing a jet with hundreds of passengers to land, we were diverted instead to Peoria, Illinois. (Silent S there Dave) Peoria is about 100 miles from Chicago, and we landed and waited to refuel and receive a new flight plan to get in the air again. A check of my watch and it was midnight Chicago time. I was on the plane four hours so far. The cap, (I now refer to the captain as “Cap” from now on) said we would be on the ground approximately 30 minutes and on our way back to Chicago.

An hour later, I knew we had been lied to by the cap. So, we get another announcement, (Lie) from the cap, saying we were about to be refueled and we would be on our way. Out the window, I could see the fuel truck as it ambled toward us. OK, we now had fuel, let’s get going… Right? WRONG!!! The fuel truck pulls away and the Cap makes an appearance from the cockpit and goes to the back of the plane. He returns a minute later and then announced that the flight plan he received was mangled and unreadable and that we would have to wait for another one. WTF!!! This flight at that point was such a joke that I was expecting clowns to drop from the over head bins and start doing tricks.

Since we have been on the plane for quite some time, many passengers got up to get in line for the restroom. The stewardess freaked out and loudly announced that only three people were allowed to be standing at any one time and for everyone to sit down immediately. The passengers began to get restless. Adding insult and piling on, two bottles of wine were raffled off and when the winners were ready to share with everyone, they were told that they could not open the bottle until they were off the plane.

Finally, a second flight plan arrived and we taxied down the runway and back to Chicago we went. The Cap said it would be a 23 minute flight and we did finally land at O’Hare airport. Thank God the nightmare flight was over… Until the Cap once again spoke. He said that there was no ground support working for American Airlines and they didn’t have anyone to connect the jet to the jet way terminal. Yes, we had to wait a half hour for that as well. All in all time on the plane was 6 hours and 35 minutes.

Exhausted, I made my way through the terminal to claim my luggage. The terminal was almost empty less some maintenance crew workers mopping floors and fixing walls. The above screen noted my luggage could be claimed at belt #4. Like a statue, I stared blankly at the conveyor belt trying to somehow will it to spin so my bag would come out. Nothing happened. In fact, nothing happened for over an hour. Apparently, American Airlines did not have any employees in service hence the hour and a half wait for the luggage to appear. Adding insult to injury, four luggage bays were announced for pickup. Each one turned out to be a dead end.

The sojourn was now complete as I headed for my taxi and short travel to my hotel. A glance at my watch revealed that my flight from Las Vegas to Chicago was just over 10 hours in length.

Las Vegas to Chicago is a three hour and two minute flight. If you fly American Airlines, expect seven hours to be added to your time with the most extreme rude and inept customer service any airline offers. The Grassy Knoll now understands why American Airlines is losing millions of dollars per month on flights.

Bullshit!!!

This is but the first story of my trip to sin city in search of conspiracies, giant aliens, and the ultimate dinner cuisine.

Back To Inner Sanctum Archives

LURKING, A LOUSY BAG OF PEANUTS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9 Responses to “American Airlines Suck”

  1. Duragirl said

    That dude in the brown shirt looks pissed. Is this stock photo or the real flight photos?

  2. jungljim69 said

    Duragirl, knowing Pat as well as I do, it is a photo he took at the time of the event. That is one thing you will come to appreciate, most of the photos from road trips and the blue plate specials are taken by the CEO of LOTGK

  3. LOTGK said

    Jim speaks the truth Duragirl.
    The photo is from the exact plane trip above. We’ve been hanging around for over an hour at the time the photo was taken.
    And American airlines Suck!

  4. MSS said

    American Airlines Sucks. I actually had a whacked out crew follow me around for awhile. They claimed they were with some dude claiming he is Tony Accardo, Jr.. The stews that followed me around got into my apartment and damaged my clothing, they claimed they are jealous and sick of women with education and the ability to move forward in life. These girls portray themselves as female stews, but they are really hermarphadites (nothing against hermarphadites). There is one by the name of Julie and she stands about 6′, has red hair styled like a l970s disco queen in drag, she has a penis and scrotum and no chest. She wears an FA two piece uniform, but her skirt is a-lined to cover up her manliness. She is portrayed as a female, but she is really a male. She is the American Airlines secret to the crying game. This is a group of sickos. What is worse is I wrote to Gerard Arpey about this problem and no one seems to give a damn. After 9/11 AA really should be monitoring the activities of its employees. I will never fly that line again.

  5. Sana said

    In the past one month American Airlines has lost the luggage of two people I know, plus my own. Three lost baggage claim reports, and still no baggage. None of us have seem a dime yet for items up to 2,000 dollars. They are rude and unhelpful. All of us flew from Houston to New York La Guardia through Chicago. I am seriously warning whomever reads this not to fly American Airlines. They have the cheapest ticket rates out there right now, and this is why. They are a horrible airline with absolutely horrible, heartless, unhelpful and most of the time unattainable customer service. Something should be done.

  6. RSS said

    Sana, I have had friends who have had baggage missing. We think it is a scam to give harder up employees clothing. My friend lost his luggage from his flight from London and he has very nice, expensive clothes. I don’t think he ever received anything either. I had clothes removed from my apartment by a couple of fas out of O’hare and items they couldn’t wear they tore and ripped them. AA has a lot of dark secrets and this baggage stealing scam is only one of them.

  7. Scott said

    I think you mean “American Airlines Sucks”.

    BTW, should they have just said “screw the FAA and landed as orignally scheduled”?

  8. Gina said

    American Airlines O’Hare Airport is a forced prostitution ring. I have been a victim and the pilots who raped me told me they murdered two coworkers of mine. Gerard Arpey has a group of hermorphadites who pose as FAs when they are not. They suffer from extreme mental illness and hate women because they were born trannies. (nothing against hermorphadites, they are people too). One is named Julie Tranny. Julie is sick beyond any comprehension. Make sure if you fly American out of O’hare you ask the FAs questions to make sure they are real FAs. If they can’t answer, get off the aircraft. Fly another line. Beware American, they are murderers. Gerard Arpey is a filthy stinking pig who is going to rot in jail when I am done. I file with the State’s Attorney’s office and I intend to expose them for what the murderers and rapists they are.

    myspace.com/airlinegangstalkers

    Beware. You could be next. Gina

  9. LOTGK said

    And I thought I had a bad experience with American Airlines…

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