Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory




  • Kennedy Assassination, Flu Shot Virus, Big Foot, Lochness Monster, Beatles Hoax, Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, Moon landing, and many more.

    Conspiracy Archives




  • We visit all the "Greasy Spoon" restaurants around the country rating each experience. Featuring Las Vegas, Chicago, San Francisco, Gatlinburg, Houston, New York, Youngstown.

    Blue Plate Special




  • 1960's Catholic grade school with mean Nuns as teachers was a recipe of pure Hell. I knew my mission in life the day I pulled Sister Ann Teresa’s habit off her head. I had to know what secret treasures lay hidden beneath.

    Catholic Nuns




  • Sexy Giant Aliens are roaming the Earth plotting to enslave humanity. View photographic proof Giant Aliens have already infiltrated the population.

    Giant Alien Invasion




  • We pay homage to the sexy actresses and their cleavage who starred in science fiction movies and television series.

    Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens




  • The LOTGK logo can be found all over the world. Even on a sexy girls ass.

    Find The Logo




  • Humorous personal life stories of the past, present, and future from a 50 plus year old who has seen everything. Almost!

    Inner Sanctum




  • Random tidbits of worthy news and photographs that don’t quite fit into any of the Grassy Knoll Institutes categories.

    Random Shots




  • Sometimes a picture is worth a thousands words. If they were only worth money!

    Postcards Edge




  • Rantings of a mad die hard Viking fan. No purple colored glasses for this fan.

    Viking thunder Rant




  • Classic vinyl record albums rescued from my basement. See what you have been missing.

    Classic Vinyl Records




  • Once a thriving vacation resort and young adult get-a-way spot, has succumbed to erosion. From the once beautiful beach to the town and businesses that dot the once vibrant strip.

    Geneva On The Lake




  • Brutal clips of faces of death, reckless driving, experiments documented, grass growing, public hangings, live executions, and clips of UFO’s flying above.

    Video Vault




  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 88 other followers




  • Grassy Knoll Institute. Home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory. We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers. Hurry, supplies are limited at these prices. And quit calling me Shirley.
    Gatlinburg Guide
  • Random Hits

    • 4,687,704 Satisfied Surfers Since 10/06/2007
  • Current Hot Stories

  • Blogs I Follow

  • Time Travel

Grassy Knoll Institute Olympic Moment

Posted by LOTGK on December 2, 2007

I love watching the Olympic down hill ski races and especially the ski jump. It reminds me when I first went skiing. I was 17, never on skies before and there I was driving to Boston Mills, a local ski resort. I was assured the hills were mild and perfect for beginners for people just like me.

We parked and made our way to the lodge and bought the ski pass and rented the skies and polls. So far so good as I put on my skies and locked them in. We emerged from the clubhouse and made our way to the T-bar ski lift. I carefully studied how the other skiers got in position and plopped down on the T-bar. Again, everything went smooth and I enjoyed the sights going up the hill while dangling my feet with the skies attached.

As my ski lift approached the top of the hill, I was getting instructions on how to ski. It seemed like the right time to ask being a minute from the top of the hill. I was told to use my hips to steer left and right and my poles to keep my balance. As long as I didn’t get parallel with the hill I would be fine. Again, this sounded pretty easy. After all, I was a pretty good athlete and had excellent balance so what could go wrong?

The moment I hit the snow dismounting from the ski lift, everything was in accelerated motion as if I had stepped into a speeding car. I was sliding slowly at the pinnacle of the hill. Through all my efforts I could not stop my momentum from the ski lift and began my descent down the hill. Slowly at first but ever picking up speed.

In an instant I assumed the position of a down hill racer, knees bent, leaning forward, ski poles behind me. Every second that passed I gained speed. I forgot all the lessons on the way up the hill and was now a missile coming down the hill like a bat out of hell.

I felt like I was going 100 miles per hour and I starting yelling at the other skiers on the hill to get the hell out of the way as they weaved in and out of my beeline path. I didn’t want to injure anyone except for maybe the one skier that kept cutting in front of my path ever ignoring my warming screams. In an instant, that skier was toast. On his zigzag into my path, he plowed directly into me. Apparently he never saw me. Since I was crouched down and had a low center of gravity, that when I hit him, it sent him sailing backwards and he fell in a big heap beside me. I however, was still on course straight on down the hill and still picking up speed.

Picking my head up and looking down field I saw a big X shaped structure in my path. WTF was that? It looked like two spears crossed in an X right in my path. I couldn’t steer away from it and was going to fast to entertain falling down to stop my momentum. A second later I was upon the X and all I could do was duck as low as I could and hope I could squeeze under it. I didn’t. I snapped those sticks like they were twigs and still I made my way down the hill.

About 30 seconds had gone by at this point and the hill started to level out. I could se the clubhouse and knew I would be safe in a few more seconds. I was wrong. Even though the hill leveled out I was still going at a very fast clip and the bottom of the hill was more populated opening up more hazards. I began my warning screams to the unsuspecting skiers gathered at the bottom.

My screams were heard this time and like Moses parting the Red Sea, a path opened up for me that sent me slamming straight into the side of the club house wall ending my very first down hill ski experience with a resounding thud. Thank God my journey was over.

A moment later, a ski patrol officer came over and started chewing me out about my reckless skiing putting people in danger, not following proper ski etiquette, and possibly damaging the club house walls and equipment. I looked at this guy, still with the birdies and stars spinning around my head, and calmly told him to STFU!!!

That was my first and last trip down the hill that day as the ski patrol ranger banned me from the hill. I did get my money back for the lift ticket and ski rental and for the rest of the winter kept my nifty little ski lift ticket attached to my down vest zipper.

Back To Inner Sanctum Archives

LURKING, I BROUGHT HOME GOLD, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Leave a Reply: And your argument is

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"

Ahrcanum

Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.