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Big G The Main Man

Posted by LOTGK on November 20, 2007

big g the main man

My older brother George passed away 10 years ago today. He graduated from Cardinal Mooney high school and was a big “Thee” Ohio State Buckeye fan. His favorite pro sports teams were the New York football Giants and the New York Yankee’s. I went to a different high school and am a Minnesota Viking and Cincinnati Reds fans. However, we both shared the same passion for the Buckeyes.

George was the rock of the family. He would do anything for you without question. He was generous to a fault, literally giving the shirt off his back to you or anyone in need. He was mostly mild mannered but step over the line, and he’d lower the boom on you. George was a big man. Six foot two inches tall and 240 pounds. No fat, all muscle. Even in his illness, he thought of our feelings instead of his own. He tried to make us feel better when we visited him in the hospital. He once said that one night he dreamt he was a car muffler and when he woke up he was exhausted. George had a tremendous sense of humor, something that I sorely miss.

George was diagnosed with Amyloidosis in March of 1997.(Amyloidosis is a rare and fatal disease that occurs when substances called amyloid proteins build up in your body’s organs. Amyloid is an abnormal protein usually produced by cells in your bone marrow that can be deposited in any tissue or organ. Amyloidosis frequently affects the heart, kidneys, liver, spleen, nervous system and gastrointestinal tract. There is no cure.) Eight months later, George was gone.

His death hit me hard. Real hard. He wasn’t just my older brother, he was my best friend. It was a very tough adjustment getting along without him. I started to have dreams about him the very night he died. The first dream was George and me sitting at my house watching the TV waiting for the Ohio State – Michigan football game. I knew it was a dream, but it was very real. He only said one thing to me in that dream. He said, “Don’t bet on the Buckeyes to win today. I have it on good authority they are going to lose.” George was right. The Buckeyes lost 20-14 that day.

Since then I have had many dreams about George. One particular dream was very strange though. George and I were sitting at my parents house, in the living room, talking, and he asked if I had any questions. I said I did. I asked him about Heaven. What it was? What do you do in heaven? Are you alone or with people? Is God always with you?” He looked at me and said they were very good questions and would try to explain to me in terms in which I would understand. This is what George told me.

Let me try to explain in words what heaven is to me and the others that are here. It will be difficult for you to comprehend the concept and feelings, but this will give you a better understanding of where I am.

Imagine being in perfect health in mind and body. Absolutely no aches or pains. No worries. No disease. The sun is shining, it’s noon time, about 80 degrees, the wind is blowing softly, not a cloud in the sky. A perfect summer day. An endless perfect summer day. Now imagine, (And this is the only way I can describe it to you so that you understand,) you are standing in front of a huge wide screen television. You have a remote control in your hand and scenes from your life are running on the TV. You immediately notice that all the scenes are happy times, no sorrow, hurt, anger, only fun and laughter. There are at least 400 channels running on my TV but instead of choosing just one channel, I experience all of them at once and, at the same time, one at a time. On one set, I am in the woods playing kick the can, around age 10, running like wild fire. On the next TV I’m playing little league baseball. The next, driving my car for the very first time after getting my license.

Four hundred channels just like this. All the time I can feel and remember everything in perfect detail. In fact, I am reliving the memories, not remembering, but reliving. Never is there a bad channel on, only the good, never anything bad. While I am standing there looking at the TV I am also in the scenes, like watching old home movies but being there. I find myself laughing, having fun looking on and also having fun and laughing experiencing these times all over again. Somehow, I am living my life again but in bits and pieces. The TV rewinds and fast forwards to any point in my life I choose. Things I completely forgotten about but clearly see and experience once again.

And no, I am not alone. I sense people around me and they sense me around them. Not just passed away relatives, but also the living. Mom and Dad, our bothers and sisters, friends, everyone, dead and living. I am in one big infinite circle and I can see their TV sets and channels. I can watch multiple channels simultaneously and share each others life experiences. I look in on everyone’s life all at once and experience only the joy and love they have. When you experience Deja Vu, or see someone out of the corner of your eye, or feel my presence, it is only me rewinding the channel or resetting the screen.

I can feel Gods presence, and feel Gods essence and wisdom. God is all around, everywhere. Just like the good Nuns said. God is smiling. God has no physical form, nor is God a mist, nor a He or a She, God is God. I have no desire to ask God questions. I now know the answers to all of them. I am at peace with myself, the world and the heavens. And don’t worry, I have a channel selected on you, kind of like picture in picture. I can see you, somewhat like a guardian angel, but I’m not.

I hope this makes some sense to you for it is truly wonderful.

Now if only I can get George to give me the winning lottery numbers this weekend…..

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3 Responses to “Big G The Main Man”

  1. Gumby said

    R.I.P. George.

  2. Max Jackl said

    Must have been a hell of guy.
    I’m sorry.

  3. Valdunagan said

    Sorry for your loss.
    That is a cool car. Sort of like the ZZ Top vehicle.

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