Akron Haunted Schoolhouse

The Akron, Ohio Haunted school House and Laboratory are touted as two of the scariest haunted houses not in the state, but in all the land. Of course, the Grassy Knoll Institute had to investigate to see if truth was being told.

Upon arrival, (The doors opened at 7pm sharp) we saw the big sign all lit up and the old run down school bus on the grass lawn on the way to the parking lot. We had made good time and were 20 minutes early. It had been some time (20 years) since my last visit to the haunted house and laboratory and I was expecting some top notch fright. On our first visit years ago, the place was was full of ghostly sights and shock value. Plenty of live actors roaming the haunts plus well designed sets to scare the hell out of the customers. I couldn’t wait to see what improved over the last 20 years.

The gates opened at 7pm as promised and we were second in line. This would be the first snag at the haunt. Apparently, we were told that the owner of the haunt was not present yet and we would all have to wait for him to arrive before anyone could enter. We waited 35 minutes.

The second snag was the cost of the haunt. $15.00 each per person. That is pretty steep compared to the other haunts around the area but it was the Haunted School House and Laboratory. We were sure it would be worth the money. We paid the piper and entered.

We climbed several flights of steps and then began our descent into the haunt. (Of course, no video or camera’s were permitted and we respected their stern request.) The haunt was laid out quite well, the customers spaced nicely so they could absorb all the fright first hand, and the ambiance was that of a true haunting. (Weird sounds and screams coming from everywhere)

We were all told while standing in line that if you don’t touch the ghosts, they will not touch you. We heard that 100 times while waiting in line. Apparently the actors in the haunt didn’t hear though as fellow Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute was touched several times during the haunt.

At the end of the first leg, the Laboratory, I was disappointed for there were no upgrades, no modern automation sets that almost every haunt has today. They had the same sets and props from years past.

The exit was an empty parking lot that separated the two haunts and there were no employee’s to direct customers to the next haunt. Plenty of people were just milling about wondering what to do next.

When we reached the Haunted School House, the line was quite long. They had ropes sectioning off the line and weaved up and down several rows. This is where the next snag occurred. We noticed that only one cashier was open for the hundreds of people in line. Just one. It took over 30 minutes to get through the line.

The second leg of the haunt was the same as the first. It even had the exact same entrance, you walked down into an opened coffin to get to the next level. (Same as it ever was 20 years ago)

The walk through took approximately 20 minutes for each haunt and as the first one did, we exited into a parking lot. At that point, the owners of the haunt began to lose money with almost every customer that went through.

Somehow, the haunts should be redesigned to exit back into the main area, where it was well lit, had employee’s about, and the food concession stand as well. I would guarantee that more hot dogs, pretzels, fries, cokes, and hot chocolates would be sold if the exit was changed.

All in all, I was not that impressed. Fellow Lead scientist was however, but he is easily impressed, and he had never visited there before. My impression was that the haunt was managed poorly, or not at all. (The owner showing up 35 minutes late) The layout was not conducive to profit making opportunities, the exit was the parking lot to go home, not the vending area for the customers to buy food and drinks. And there should have been several actors dressed in costume to scare the patrons waiting in line. That always gets the action going and adds to the fun factor.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL