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All Tied Up

Posted by LOTGK on November 1, 2007

Now that my son has safely finished high school and it about to embark on his college career, I am now able to reveal my high school tales. The time was the mid-1970’s, when disco was king but still sucked and women were asserting themselves in the sexual revolution. My first offering is simply titled, All Tied Up With No Place To Go.

I begin with study hall. Study hall at Boardman High School was in several areas, either the lunchroom or the center rooms on each floor. The center rooms were actually four classrooms combined so a bunch of kids could pack it in. Being totally bored out of my mind, I had a choice to make. Either study for the upcoming Geology test or amuse myself. Easy choice.

Surveying the surroundings, I spotted my victim. His name was Eddy, and he sat right behind me. Each day he would walk in to class, lay his head down and promptly fall asleep until the lunch bell rang. As soon as the bell rang, Eddy would jump up and run down like a wild man to the cafeteria to get in line for lunch.

So this particular day, I quietly and slowly shifted my position sideways in my chair and tried not to make any sudden moves lest to draw attention from the study hall teacher. A minute later I dropped my pencil and then proceeded to tie Eddie’s shoelaces to his desk.

At first, only a few students noticed what I was doing but the prank was spreading through the room like wild fire. Everyone was looking at the wall clock waiting for the last minute to tick down knowing Eddy would jump up and run to lunch. He would not disappoint us.

Silently we all counted the final 10 seconds and then the bell rang out. Yes, Eddy jumped right up and tried to take a step. For a moment he looked puzzled, and like weebles used to do, he wobbled and as if we were watching a movie in slow motion, he hit the ground. We all laughed, and even the study hall teacher smirked, apparently being alerted to the prank. (We had a snitch in our midst and he/she would be dealt with accordingly but now was a time for laughter) Not missing a beat, Eddy removed his shoes and proceeded to the lunchroom in his socks.

From that day forward, he changed up his style always glancing down at his shoes before making his trek to the cafeteria.

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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

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