Sexy School Marm

Now that the Super Bowl is over, (The New York Giants spoiled the perfect season of the New England Patriots by beating them 17-14 in one of the most entertaining games in the 42 year history) class is back in session for all the Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists.

Todays lesson, of course, an oral exam. Hope everyone studied.

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NFL Acquiesces To Fans

As reported in last weeks Grassy Knoll Institute Conspiracy, the NFL network was playing hard ball with cable operators forcing them to pony up to satisfy their customers for the upcoming prime game of the unbeaten 15-0 New England Patriots at the New York Giants this Saturday night.

As stated before, history and NFL records could be easily set in this game. Not only would New England be the first team in NFL history to go 16-0, quarterback Tom Brady can break the single season TD passes and total yards while Randy Moss needs two TD’s to break Jerry Rice’s long standing most tD’s in a single season.

The NFL has succumbed to the pressure put upon them by the Grassy Knoll Institute, Sen. John Kerry, and other legislators to force the NFL to carry the game on local channels so all can enjoy.

Yesterday, Commissioner Roger Goodell stated in a press conference that the game will be shown on CBS, NBC, and the NFL Network, the first game to be three-network simulcast in 40 years, since the first Super Bowl in 1967. Goodell says it is in the best interest of the fans that the NFL is airing the game on three networks but just a few days ago, the NFL said they would not acquiesce and that the game would be broadcast only on the NFL Network.

The NFL is in the midst of a horrific public relations nightmare and only at this point decided to change their tune. Only the best interests of the fans in mind! Bullshit. The almighty dollar drives the NFL and they almost bullied the cable operators to pony up.

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NFL Winners And Losers Week #17

Week 16 saw top seeded playoff team taking it easy and almost laying down to avoid injury to their starters. Viking Thunder went 10-6 last week and over all for the year n impressive 150-90 and 60 games over 500.

This final week sees more of last week, only more evident.

Patriots at NY Giants
Pats going for a perfect 16-0 record, Brady going for records, Moss going for records, will get them against the Giants who are already in the playoffs and have nothing to gain in winning.
Patriots win

Seahawks at Falcons
Ahh, Falcons suck.
Seahawks win

Saints at Bears
Saints need help to get in the playoffs. But first and foremost, they need to win. Sorry.
Bears win

Bengals at Dolphins
Picked on the Bengals all season. Time to let up.
Bengals win

Lions at Packers
Packers resting players, Lions out to finish with high note.
Lions win

Jaguars at Texans
Jags resting, Texans building on next season.
Texans win

Panthers at Bucs
Bucs resting players, Panthers just resting. But still,
Panthers win

Bills at Eagles
Is McNabb auditioning for future teams. Bills building for next season.
Eagles win

49ers at Browns
Playoff implications. Browns need a win, 49ers want to spoil.
browns win

Steelers at Ravens
Ravens downward spiral out of control. Wordking on a better draft slot position. Need a loss to secure it. They’ll get it.
Steelers win

Chargers at Raiders
Chargers resting players. Raiders starting the #1 over draft pick for very first time. Last freaking game of the season. Why?
Chargers win

Cowboys at Redskins
Usually a classic battle but Cowboys opt to sit the players and start the cheerleaders. Reskins need to win to get into the playoffs. Control their own destiny. To much tits and ass on their mind.
Cowboys win

Vikings at Broncos
Playoff implications. Vikings blew it last week, now need help to get in. For starters, they must beat the Broncos. Peterson runs wild for 200 yards.
Vikings win

Chiefs at Jets
Red or green? pick one!
Jets win, Jets win, Jets win!

Titans at Colts
Playoff implications. Titans win and they are in. Hope Vince Young knows this. Colts resting players.
Titans win

Rams at Cardinals
Both teams enjoying a little upswing. Should be an entertaining high scoring game. What’s the starting quarterback for the Cards these days?
Card win

There you have it, the entire 17 week NFL schedule broken down for your pleasure. I hope you enjoyed this section of the Grassy Knoll Institute.

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New England Patriots Perfect Season

Saturday, December 29th, at 8pm EST, the New England Patriots face the New York Giants for the final regular game of the season. The Patriots, now at 14-0 will perhaps be going for a perfect season that final game while the Giants will be playing for a tight raced wild card spot. The NFL could not have dreamed of a better scenario than the match-up as all eyes will be tuning in to watch a little bit of sports history.

As if anything more was needed for the thrones of fans to tune in, several more records should be there for the taking during this game for quarterback Tom Brady and receiver Randy Moss.

Tom Brady, the Patriots quarterback, can easily shatter the record for most touchdowns in a single season during this game surpassing Peyton Manning and Dan Marino.

Randy Moss can break the receiving yards record for a single season and also break Jerry Rice’s long standing record of most TD’s in a single season.

The hype has already begun as the fabled 1972 Miami Dolphins, who went a perfect 17-0, are being compared to the present day Patriots on almost every NFL program. Millions of non football fans will tune in just to see what all the hub bub is all about making this one game one of the highest rated broadcasts rivaling even the super bowl games of past years.

But there’s a problem. The game is slated to be televised on the NFL Network, a TV channel that only 1% of the American public receives. A game this big and no one will be able to see history possibly be written.

The NFL is standing firm stating that the game will not be switched to CBS, NBC, or FOX and will air on the NFL Network.

I will guarantee that millions of fans will be calling their local cable companies demanding that they allow the game to be shown in their area. But there’s the rub.

DirecTV ponied up this year when the NFL negotiations were open and out bid the cable company giants.

This is where the conspiracy portion enters.

The NFL Network much like cable channel ESPNU have a very limited audience. About 1% of the nation has access to the NFL network football games. The cable companies balked at the cost the NFL wanted for them to air the Thursday and Saturday night special games starting Thanksgiving night every year. Hence, only DirecTV subscribers can tune in.

So what can the network do to bolster ratings? Do exactly what ESPNU did last year. Televise the top rated games on that channel knowing that it would cause an outcry from the fans and hopefully force the cable companies to pony up and televise the games. ESPNU aired the Ohio State Buckeyes while they were undefeated and ranked #1 in the country and other top ranked teams showed up on the U network when low profile games used to be only shown.

The NFL is forcing the same type of scenario. In two weeks, tens of millions of fans will be very upset not being able to view the game causing animosity and hard feelings toward their cable providers. Countless phone calls and emails will be fielded as to why the game is not available and they won’t like the answer that it cost to much money to air these limited games.

The Patriots are poised to go a perfect 16-0 while Brady and Moss have obtainable NFL records as well in the final game. The NFL Network could not have asked for a better catalyst to force cable companies.

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