One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the other side of the fairway. The man goes looking for his ball and comes across this little fella with a huge knot on his head, and his golf ball lying right beside him.
“Goodness and praise the Lord,” says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little fella. Upon awaking, the little fella says, “Well now, ye caught me fair and square. Being that I am a Leprechaun, I must obey the rules so I will grant ye three wishes.”
The man says “I can’t take anything from you, I’m just glad I didn’t hurt you too badly,” and walks away back to the golf course. Watching the golfer depart, the Leprechaun says “Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for
him. I’ll give him the three things that I would want. I’ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life.”
Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing.
The Leprechaun says, “I’m fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?” The golfer says, “It’s great! I hit under par every time.” The Leprechaun says, “I did that for you. And might I ask how your money
is holding out?”
The golfer says, “Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill.” The Leprechaun smiles and says, “I did that for you, too. And might I ask how your sex life is?”
The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, “Well, maybe once or twice a week.” The Leprechaun is floored and stammers, “Once or twice a week? Is that all?
The golfer looks at him and says, “Well, that’s not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small Irish parish.”
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL