Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come spouting predictions, to last all year.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. And year 2013.
Last year, 2012, I predicted accurately the passing of Joe Paterno, Dick Clark, Jonathan Frid. Also predicted Princess Kate being pregnant, finding the God Particle, the new Iphone specs, a magnitude of 7.0 earthquake in Japan, the Crimson Tide winning the BCS, Randy Moss returning to football, the Buckeyes going undefeated, gasoline prices dipping under three dollars, and many more shocking predictions. Below are my 2013 psychic predictions. Enjoy.
1) Miley Cyrus gets married. No more speculation that her engagement was a publicity stunt. Now about her haircut….
2) Lindsay Lohan declares bankruptcy. She hit rock bottom not only in life, but also at the bank.
3) Charlie Sheen goes to jail. Winning!
4) After a long run, Ghost Hunters gets canceled. Main problem, no hard photographic evidence after 10 years.
5) Tom Cruise gets outed on the Ellen show by accident.
6) President Jimmy Carter passes.
7) Denver Broncos win Superbowl. Just wait what Pappa John’s Pizza does next. Failed: Manning and the Bronco’s get ousted in the divisional playoffs. Side Note: Tim Tebow has won more playoff games in Denver than Manning.
8) The Boston Celtics win the NBA championship after running into a rough patch most of the season.
9) The Cincinnati Reds return to glory and wins The World Series.
10) The NHL cancels this season. Close to desertification. FAILED: The NHL has settled and are playing a shortened season.
11) Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson break up for good. (See prediction #12 for reason)
12) A Kristen Stewart sex tape surfaces. And it is not with Robert Pattinson.
13) Microsoft corporation flexes its muscles and doubles its market share in the phone and tablet sector.
14) Courtney Stoddard is pregnant. Does anyone care anymore?
15) Rihanna gets beat up again. Welcome to relationships are us.
16) Former NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, 40 years old, gets signed by an NFL team.
17) A rogue comet will pass so close to Earth it will appear larger than our own moon. Yes, it is planet killer size.
18) Retailer K-Mart files for bankruptcy.
19) The Alabama Crimson tide keeps rolling and beats Notre Dame to capture the BCS championship. SUCCESS: The Crimson Tide dominated the Irish winning 42-14
20) Adrian Peterson wins NFL MVP of the year award. SUCCESS: Peterson did win MVP for the year.
21) The popular streaming service Netflix will be bought and absorbed into a larger company.
22) A breakthrough in solar power doubles the electricity output of each cell.
23) Scientists discover the first “Earth twin” planet in a star system less than 20 light years from our planet.
24) Humankind will no longer be alone in the universe. Startling evidence that an alien race was once here and is coming back.
25) American Idol has jumped the shark and will be canceled after this 2013 season.
26) Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis become very cozy. SUCCESS: Both are seen constantly together and in intimate scenarios.
27) Reality TV finally wises up and cancels Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
28) Megan Fox gets divorced. Apparently fatherhood cramps hubbys style.
29) Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest get engaged.
30) Brett Favre Makes a comeback as the Cleveland Browns roll the dice on the aged veteran gunslinger. (Just kidding Browns fans)
31) Arnold Schwarzenegger announces a new Terminator movie, Terminator Retribution.
32) To keep pace, Sylvester Stallone announces Rocky 7 and Rambo 5 and Stop Or My Mother Will Shoot 2.
33) Selena Gomez topless pictures get leaked.
34) Milla Jovovich announces yet another Resident Evil movie. It will make millions like the others before it.
35) Tom Brady hangs up the cleats and retires after his playoff run. Giselle is ecstatic.
36) Kelly Preston files for divorce from John Travolta.
37) David Letterman retires. Perhaps Jimmy Kimmel was kicking his ass.
38) Britney Spears looses it again and goes on another bender.
39) Christina Aguilera loses a ton of weight. Debuts a new album, titled Genie In A Bottle Two.
40) Yellowstone National Park has a major seismic event.
41) An F-5 Tornado touches down in the heartlands.
42) The next generation Stealth Bomber makes its debut. of course it will be during a military excursion.
43) Kathy Griffin and Anderson Coopers New Years Eve 2013 program will be the highest watched New Years Eve program. Where have you gone Dick Clark.
44) Kate Upton’s star status begins to fade as competition pushes her aside.
45) Basketballer Kris Humphries throws a wrench in the Kanye Kim K baby nuptials. He lays claim under California law that since he is still technically married to Kim, the baby is his.
46) Jennifer Aniston finally, finally, gets married.
47) Taylor Swift scandal. Taylor lets it slip. Nippy.
48) NBC’s Matt Lauer gets fired.
49) The Star Trek franchise has another hit as Into The Darkness is a major motion picture hit breaking all Star Trek box office records.
50) Fifty Years of conspiracy frenzy concerning president Kennedy and the grassy knoll, and finally, hard evidence is revealed that a second shooter was involved as a recently passed secret service agents family member discovers a strong box in the attic with revealing information.
There you have it readers. 50 bold predictions for the new year.
Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2013 year. Check back weekly as each prediction comes into play.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL