Inside the Irish Pub you patiently wait as the bartender expertly pours your Guinness beer and presents it to you. The Guinness stands in all it’s glory in front of you. What you do next is critical and if you are a tourist, all eyes in the pub are now upon you anticipating what you do next. This is a very important time in your life inside an Irish pub.
Do not, I repeat, do not grab the glass and sip the Guinness. If you do, you will hear moans from the well respected Irish folk drinking in the pub with you.
1) Instead, take a moment or two and inspect and appreciate the beauty of the Guinness beer in front of you with your eyes. Bask in the splendor of the gift from Heaven waiting for you.
2) After the respectful moment or two of waiting, rise to your feet from your chair or stool. Grip the glass with authority and keep your elbows up and the Guinness at eye level.
3) Tilt the glass to your mouth and embrace the nectar of the Gods taking a full gulp. Do not sip Guinness. Do not let the patrons see you sip lest you want to hear another round of moans directed towards you.
4) Gently place the glass down and prepare for your next taste. Make sure to drink from the same side of the glass so like you can count the rings on a tree trunk, you can count how many gulps it took to drink your pink of Guinness.
5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until your glass is empty.
6) When finished, keep in mind, you are in Ireland, not in the states, and the bartender is not expecting a tip. However, if this was your first Guinness beer in an Irish Pub, or if your bartender performed above and beyond his normal excellent service, a tip of 10-15 percent would be acceptable. More importantly, thank the bartender and acknowledge the patrons inside the bar as you may not know it, but each and everyone of them were guiding you along in your journey to the perfect pint.
A proper toast to all in the pub could be….
My friends are the best friends.
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!
HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL