Grassy Knoll Institute

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Posts Tagged ‘Giant Aliens’

Elite Sniper School Test Revealed

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2010

I want to thank everyone who put up with our rapid fire Grassy Knoll Institute Ion news delivery today. We promise, things will get back to normal in less than 30 minutes. We now return control of the Internet back to your computer. As an added bonus, or burden depending on your perspective, we will offer up one more update today. Many have emailed us asking if we are hiring and what it takes to work at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Read below (Me) and if you answer the same way, you need serious fucking help.

In the quest to be battle ready against the vanguard of giant aliens roaming the earth bent on dominating humankind, the Grassy Knoll Institute has established an elite first line of defense sniper school. Only the best of the best marksmen need apply.

Upon approval, candidates will be put through 6 months of rigorous training to hone aim, skill, and mental state. Those select candidates that complete the training will be given one final verbal test consisting of only one scenario.

This is how one such candidate answered out query scoring a perfect 100% grade.

Here is the scenario you must act upon and answer to complete your training.

You are positioned in a tree dressed in full camouflage. The tree is on the edge of a clearing. The clearing is your kill zone. Your mission is you must kill the first thing, whatever it will be, that enters the kill zone, and you must kill it with your first shot. Until you have completed this mission, you must sit in that tree. You must not move, eat, drink, pee, or anything else, lest you scare your target away.

After you have been sitting in that tree for twelve hours, seeing the weather change from the hot sun into a driving cold rain not moving a muscle, a six-year old girl enters the clearing, with a baby on her arm. What is the very first thing that you feel?

“Sir, recoil, Sir!”


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Posted in April Fools Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Tiger Woods Mistress #16 Revealed

Posted by LOTGK on December 17, 2009

tiger woods, legendary golf pro has many alleged mistresses, this latest one, a giant alien is by far the biggest mistress of tigers.

Elin's Going To Kill Me

Mistress #16 on the Tiger Woods hit list surfaced last evening in Boca Raton, Florida. Paparazzi sources claim the woman to be at least 50 feet tall. Grassy Knoll Institute alien investigators (No, we aren’t aliens, we just investigate them, and only the ones not of this Earth) were called to the scene and quickly confirmed that this woman, judging by the size of her discarded bra hanging from the side of the building, does indeed belong to the race of giant aliens attempting to take over the world and enslave humanity.

Tiger has a lot of explaining to do.




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Posted in Giant Aliens | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

V – The Visitors – Sexy Aliens

Posted by LOTGK on November 4, 2009

Giant Aliens Six Fingers

V Is For Visitors And Victory

The Grassy Knoll Institute was not fooled by the 29 giant alien space ships hovering over the worlds major cities last night at 8pm Eastern Standard Time. We knew straight away (We’re rocket scientists) that the sexy alien spouting eternal peace and health to all was all a ruse. We know for a fact that the Visitors are an alien race bent on the obliteration of the human race and enslaving the survivors to a lifetime of servitude to the whims of Anna and her cohorts.

Last week, in the wooded area of Spokane, Washington, the Grassy Knoll Institute captured a sleeper cell V alien. During a fierce battle the V’s fingers were cut off as it was performing a patented Three Stooges eye poke maneuver. (Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk) Before the V alien died, it spilled its guts revealing the plan of annihilation to humankind.


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Posted in Giant Aliens | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

You Know What They Say About Big Feet

Posted by LOTGK on May 29, 2009

Giant aliens poised to take over the world leaves giant shoes behind.


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Posted in Giant Aliens | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

To Serve Man

Posted by LOTGK on March 25, 2009

It's A Cookbook!

It's A Cookbook!

Grassy Knoll Institute Ion News Reporting:
The world is rejoicing today as war against the giant aliens appear to be over. Left on the doorsteps of the United Nations building was a giant book with the inscription “To Serve Man” emblazoned on it.

The Giant Aliens sent a message that this book was their equivalent of the holy books of the religious faiths on Earth. A team of language experts are pouring over it in an attempt to decipher its contents now. One particular passage, Kanamits 812 is repeated throughout the book. If this is the cipher, then the rest of the book and all it’s wisdom can be unlocked.

Strangely, this sounds all to familiar to the scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute.


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Posted in Giant Aliens | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"


Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory


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