RSS 
Sometimes I get bored. And when that happens, usually trouble followed. Back in the early 1980′s there was a popular bar on Glenwood Avenue in Youngstown. Of course there was the Park Inn, but right next to it was a grittier bar called the Crystal Tavern. It was sort of one of my hangouts where wild things occurred almost nightly. There was a fight at least every night, and not just a punch or two thrown, but knock down drag out to the curb type of fights. It was an FN awesome bar.
The Crystal was inhabited by a local biker gang, err, club, and other assorted roughnecks and hard Asses. How the hell I fit in I’ll never know. It was my older brother George’s hangout so I must have been a legacy member. (We need the dues!)
One evening, one gent, after about 1 to many shots, decided to call it a day and headed for the door. Just as he was about to go out, he pulled his gun out and took aim at the stop sign and emptied the gun into the sign. Not bad, he hit the sign four times.
On another occasion I watched my buddy Don down 11 shots of Ron Rico rum 151 before he fell off the bar stool in slow motion.
I won many a games of foos-ball with my buddy Benny, even with missing a goal man on one side.
I saw this one girl named Sue fall off the stool into the jukebox that made it go silent. Apparently it was someone’s favorite song on at the time because a huge fight broke out clearing the entire bar.
I won’t mention the girls and the flashing of the breastestis, but they were there.
Anyway, one night my buddies and I were riding around in my convertible Satellite and I had some flashing thunder candles. (Flashing Thunder is an 8 shot Roman candle firework with a very powerful report) We found ourselves riding down Glenwood Avenue very close to the Crystal Tavern. It was a summer night, the top was down, and I knew the Tavern front door would be open.
As we approached the tavern I slowed the car down, had my buddy light the candle, and I threw it towards the tavern with the intention of it landing outside and scaring the patrons inside. After all, the reports were as loud as gunshots. Well, my aim was true and instead of the Roman candle landing outside, it flew right inside the door into the bar. In seconds the flashing thunder went off.
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, I hit the gas and got the hell out of there.
The next night I went to the Crystal and of course the buzz was the crazy MOFO who threw the M-80′s in the bar last night. Apparently, no one was hurt, (Very lucky son of a bitch am I) and it cleared the bar. It’s too bad I wasn’t able to tell everyone it was me that cleared the bar. Until now that is…….
A befitting ending for the Crystal Tavern was bonfire night. Of course the party got out of hand and burned to the ground. R.I.P. Crystal Tavern.
Back To Inner Sanctum Archives
LURKING, GOOD PIZZA THERE, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
