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Posted by LOTGK on December 23, 2012
More Than A Whiff Of Ozone
Finally, a gift Ralphie boys old man could appreciate and use year round.
It’s a new and improved (And anatomically correct) leg lamp. Now that’s electric sex in the window.
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Christmas | Tagged: anatomically correct, Christmas, christmas story, electric sex, leg lamp, mail order bride, major award, whiff of ozone | 4 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on December 23, 2011
Every Christmas our family gets together for the holiday and after dinner old family stories are retold again and again. Most of the family would gather in the family room and recount those funny stories from our past. One of my favorite stories is about the poem my Dad wrote about his high school he attended. (Ursuline High School, Youngstown Ohio)
The year was 1942, and his teacher, (Of course was a Catholic Nun) handed out an English assignment. Each student was to write a poem about something uplifting about Ursuline High School.
Mt Dad was called by the nun to read his poem aloud in front of the class. Dad cleared his throat and read aloud…
The Majorettes came on the field,
The first in Ursuline’s history.
Followed by the marching band,
But what they’re playing is a mystery.
All the students in class burst out in laughter. However, the Ursuline Nun was not amused. She immediately sent my Dad down to the office. He took his seat and awaited his punishment.
Father Gallagher, (Yes, an Irish priest) walked into the office and sat at his chair and asked my Dad why he was sent to the office. My Dad told him the Nun did not like his poem. Father Gallagher asked my Dad to recite the poem. My Dad did.
Father Gallagher seemed to almost smirk and told my Dad to get the Hell out of the office and back to class.
Like father, like son.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Growing Up Catholic | Tagged: 1940'S, catholic nuns, Christmas, Growing Up Catholic, high school, nuns, ursuline high school band, ursuline irish band | 1 Comment »
Posted by LOTGK on December 21, 2011
A young man named John received a parrot as a Christmas gift. However the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and behavior. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Christmas | Tagged: Christmas, christmas humor, holidays, parrots | 2 Comments »
Posted by LOTGK on December 25, 2010
Perfect Christmas Tree
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, Keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them,
Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Thats what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Posted in Christmas | Tagged: a charlie brown christmas, charlie brown, Christmas, grassy knoll, holidays, linus van pelt, lotgk, thats what christmas is all about charlie brown, true meaning of christmas | 10 Comments »
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