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Posts Tagged ‘big foot’

Big Foot Update

Posted by LOTGK on August 16, 2008

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Big Foot is back in the news as a tandem of Big Foot hunters happened upon a dead carcass in the woods of Georgia. They claim the carcass is the mythical half man, half ape beast that has eluded them for many years.

A press conference held Friday in Palo Alto revealed the DNA test results from the creature and failed to prove Big Foot was captured. The DNA samples came from human origin and the other from an opossum.

Of course, this was a hoax, some sort of conspiracy to that will assuredly introduce some sort of product or other news not connected to the Bigfoot sighting. Viral advertising at it’s best.

In the meantime, Big Foot is still on the loose. The photo above was taken just two days ago by a team of Grassy Knoll Institute Bigfoot hunters. As the photo suggests, Bigfoot was startled at the flood lights as they quickly illuminated the thick night woods of Mill Creek Park in Youngstown, Ohio.

Alas, the beast made a quick getaway into the woods running at an amazing rate of speed. The hunt is still on and the Grassy Knoll Institute vows not to rest until this creature is found and captured.

jfkicon32

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Big Foot Or Giant Alien Proof

Posted by LOTGK on May 6, 2008

big foot impressions
Big Foot Leaves Large Impression In Pavement

Walking through the local cemetery in the early spring, I came upon this large foot impression crushed into the pavement. Obviously, whatever made this imprint has to be massive weighing hundreds of pounds. Upon inspection of the footprint, I used my own footprint as a point of reference, (Size 12) the Grassy Knoll Institute surmises the giant alien had to be at least 18 feet tall and weighing in at roughly 650 pounds.

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Giant Alien Bigfoot Confirmed Sighting

Posted by LOTGK on December 9, 2007

Giant Aliens Squashing The Competition

Giant Aliens are continuing their assault on the human race by using their giant feet to stomp on fleeing citizens of the world. Eyewitnesses claim that the aliens would appear and begin to quickly squash anything in sight with their feet. Even humans. Only the fast and nimble are safe from this new Giant Alien threat. The Grassy Knoll Institute thinks its time we put our own foot down and kick some giant alien butt.

Note to Grassy Knoll Institute management: Buy new track shoes.

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Big Foot Revisited

Posted by LOTGK on October 14, 2007

Elusive Big Foot

As the third Millennium unfolds, past mysteries continue to resurface that science cannot yet explain away. Such is the mystery of Big Foot, also known as Yeti, Abominable snowman, Sasquatch, Aliens, and the missing link. There have been countless sightings over the years much like U.F.O. phenomenon eye witness accounts. Most eyewitnesses are alone, in a deserted area, with no recording devices such a camera or videotape recorder to capture the event. All they have is their story.

Until that is, two events changed the face of Big Foot lore. These two events are the documentary movie made in 1973 titled, The Legend of Boggy Creek that showed actual footage of big foot in it’s natural habitat and Oliver, the Hybrid half human, half ape primate that was so refined that he would mix a round of drinks for everyone at night including himself and sit down and watch TV.

The Grassy Knoll Institute in it’s continuing investigations, offer the following insight on the legend or the reality of Big Foot.

It was used to advertise the 1973 movie, The Legend Of Boggy Creek, a documentary film about Big Foot and how it had eluded capture all these years. The film was not a box office success but it did give credence that a creature such as Big Foot may indeed exist.

The footage of the elusive creature was touted to be clear evidence that Big foot existed. Yet when I saw the film, and yes, I saw the film at the theater way back in 1973, it was a mere several seconds of a fuzzy ape like animal walking in the distant. The animal seemed to sense the camera’s rolling, stopped a moment and looked directly at the cameraman, and then quickly walked behind a tree and into folklore history as one of the most about mysteries today. Irrefutable proof? Hardly! The film was so grainy and the footage so fleeting, it was impossible to make an accurate scientific analysis.

This is where Oliver comes in. The supposedly missing link. Oliver is a very famous chimp with some very strange qualities and characteristics. Upon first glimpse, one can see that his head is smaller than other chimpanzee’s and has more human attributes than that of a chimp. Oliver also is a bipedal primate, as he walks on two feet as humans do. No other chimp recorded has ever mastered this feat for more than a few steps. Oliver strolled around in his large cave always on two feet without the aid of his arms. He also liked to sit in chairs and watch television.

His intelligence was extraordinary. Oliver was able to perform chores such as taking out the trash, loading and emptying a wheel barrel, and even feeding the dogs. Although he couldn’t speak or write, Oliver was a creature of habit and knew when it was bedtime and when his favorite TV shows were on.

With all the fanfare surrounding this chimp called Oliver, it was no wonder that medical tests were performed to determine it’s genetic makeup. A rumor had it that Oliver had 47 chromosomes which is one more than a human and one less than a chimp who normally has 48. A missing link indeed. Some even speculated that Oliver was some sort of hybrid animal genetically engineered between a human and chimp. Afterall, chimp and human DNA is 99% the same. it’s only that small 1% that makes us human.

The results however, showed that Oliver was a mere chimp. Not a genetically engineered new species, not human, but just a mutant chimp. A chimp capable of walking on two feet. The anticipation that actual proof was found slowly dissipated and Oliver is now living out his retirement at a secluded animal habitat content to live out the remainder of his life as a regular chimp.

In conclusion, the Grassy Knoll Institute still asks the question. If Big Foot does really exist, why haven’t we found a dead carcass of one in the woods? Surely these creatures die. When they do, where are the dead bodies?

Until we see concrete evidence, and we don’t mean the plaster cast versions, the Grassy Knoll Institute is still not convinced that Big Foot exists and will continue it’s ongoing investigations until hard evidence does become available.

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