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Posts Tagged ‘april fools’

Paris Hilton’s New BFF

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008

Paris Hilton’s new MTV’s reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, will be airing later on this year. The premise is Paris is looking for a new BFF, not from Hollywood stock, but everyday ordinary people.

Twenty finalists will be selected from a pool of thousands and then they will compete for Hilton’s affections. Loyalty, fashion sense, white teeth, and the ability to sing Hilton’s hit song, Stars Are Blind will be several key challenges each contestant must face to become paris Hilton’s new BFF.

As all reality TV shows go, these programs have already taped and are kept secret until the each program airs. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been able to obtain the winner of Paris Hilton’s New BFF.

Meet Alana-Nicole Stetchie, winner of Paris Hilton’s new BFF.

paris hilton’s new bff

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Posted in April Fools Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Michael Jackson In Disguise

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008

clowns never laughed before
Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to “Sleeping” with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.

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Posted in April Fools Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments »

Lost Update – Damn Dirty Ape

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008

Lost Update Season IV 03/27/2008

There has been a lot of speculation about the “Foot” seen on the Lost island. The foot was shown only once and only for a precious few seconds. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been asked to explain the foot and what we believe it’s significance is to the Lost series. Our simple short answer is… Everything.

lost foot

The photo above is of the famous Lost Foot. Take a good look at it. Not just the base featuring the four toed foot wearing a sandal, but the entire statue. Notice that it is broken and only partially intact. (This is important) One wonders what the entire statue looked like before it crumbled. What was attached to the foot? What was surrounding the statue? Perhaps the next photo below will shed some light on what the foot represents.

planet of the apes

For those of you who do not recognize the photo, it is from the final scene of the classic 1968 movie, Planet Of The Apes.
(Dramatic Pause!)
Yes folks, the foot is none other than that of the “Lawgiver,” the Christ figure of Ape World in the movie. Notice that the foot is broken and the pedestal is crumbled. Now notice the broken Statue Of Liberty. Both the Lawgiver and Statue Of Liberty are cultural icons, easily recognizable, and placed in prominent places.

Still not convinced?! Need more proof? No problem. Take a look at the picture below of the Lawgiver, an actual prop used on the set of Planet Of The Apes. Notice the Lawgiver has four toes and wearing sandals just like the foot on Lost. Both the foot and Lawgiver are the same color and texture.

lawgiver

There’s still more! I told you this was a special Lost Update.
The screenplay of Planet Of The Apes was written by none other than Sci-Fi guru Rod Serling, the creator of the Twilight Zone, (A Sci-Fi supernatural television show from the 1960’s depicting ordinary people thrust into bizarre and unexplainable situations with plenty of twists of fates and moral consequences.)

From reading the Grassy Knoll Institute Lost Updates, we all know that the program is similar to the old sci-fi series Twilight Zone and that the characters are from Twilight Zone episodes. This link will act as a refresher course to the TZ links.
Lost In The Twilight Zone

Lets delve a little deeper into the Planet of The Apes and Lost to compare the story outlines of each.

On Lost, we all know the story begins with a plane crash. Same as with Planet Of The Apes. The spaceship crashed in the water and Taylor and the rest of the survivors swam to shore.

On Lost, they crashed on a strange mysterious island and we were immediately introduced to an invisible monster and miraculous healing properties. Planet Of The Apes also crashed on a strange mysterious planet and introduced the audience to talking apes who were the dominant species on this distant planet.

We learn on Lost that time is somehow distorted and perhaps is taking place in the past or the future. On Planet of The Apes, we learn that 2500 years have passed for the marooned astronauts.

Ben and the others village on Lost are the counterparts to the apes and Ape City on Planet Of The Apes.

The final scene has not yet been aired for Lost, (We have two more years for that) but by looking at Planet of The Apes, we can hazard a guess.

The ending of Planet of the Apes showed Taylor riding off with Nova, the female human mate he had chosen along the shoreline to find his destiny. He is warned by Dr. Zaius, the leader of Ape City, that he wouldn’t like what he finds ahead. (Ben also warned the castaways that leaving is bad)

A few minutes more of following the shoreline and Taylor comes to the shocking realization that he is not on a distant planet, but at home, planet Earth, and that the world has destroyed itself and now apes rule in their place.

An old broken and half buried Statue Of Liberty drives home that realization as Taylor cries on the shore, “You finally did it, Damn you all to hell!”

There you go Lost fans. The meaning of the Foot.
Until next week, GET LOST!

losticon32

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Posted in April Fools Day, Lost Secrets | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

Ralph Nader Still Campaigning

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008

geico caveman

Ralph Nader, famous author of Unsafe At Any Speed in which he exposed General Motors shoddy workmanship on the Chevrolet Corvair, (Not to ever be mistaken for the Corvette) has once again thrown his hat into the presidential election race. Nader has been running for president for over 300,000 years with the Green Party promoting lower pollution, earth friendly products, less usage of oil based products, and better tasting roast duck with mango sauce.

A smidgen of advice: Invest in a mirror and a good hair dresser. The senator Kerry look is so last millennium.

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Posted in April Fools Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Big Brother Is Watching

Posted by LOTGK on April 1, 2008

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don’t pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. Submitted to the Institute by Jodi, this Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O’Malleys tavern pounding a few….Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking

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Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

Sladewilson: The War Journal Vol. 2

Entertainment Reviews - Video Games, Music, Television, Movies for the urban warrior... Adult Themes. Parential discretion advised...

Doooh Head

\"They all say Doooh\"

Ahrcanum

Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Grassy Knoll Institute

Home Of The 99 Cent Conspiracy Theory

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