General George Patton Photo-Op

General Patton Relieving Himself

My Dad was a World War II veteran serving as a Corporal in General George Patton’s 3rd Army, 249th Combat Engineers. Dad passed away one year ago today. R.I. P. Dad.

One of the pictures in Dad’s files was the one above. My Dad did not snap the picture, however he was there and saw almost this exact viewing angle. He wrote on the back of the photo the following…

March 25th, 1945. Nierstein, Germany, on the Rhine River. General George Patton stopped to inspect the Treadway bridge constructed by the 249th Combat Engineers. Patton is on the left raising the level of the Rhine River a little. (Patton is relieving himself over the side of the river)

____________________________________________________________

Back To Inner Sanctum Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Fannie Farkle’s Corn Dogs – (Ogle Dogs)

Corn Dog Heaven

I was in Gatlinburg back in November when the weather was very pleasant, temperatures in the low 70′s. As I was strolling the parkway enjoying the sunshine, I stopped in Fannie Farkle’s to have myself a giant foot long corn dog.

Dogs Cooking

The corn dogs were on display in the front window of the store. Even after seeing them, I still ventured inside to buy one. You could smell the grease outside, a large tub of cooking corn dogs. I then noticed they didn’t sell corn dogs, but Ogle Dogs. Apparently Ogle Dogs are the house favorite of Fannie farkle’s.
___________________________________________________________

To Go Please

With it being not busy, I thought I would get waited on right away. After all, there were only four people in the building. Three were already eating on the side counter and one was ordering a sausage sandwich. It took five minutes for one of the three cashiers to ask if I wanted something. (No, no, I’m just inside your corn dog building admiring the impressive art decco) A few minutes later, he wraps my corn dog up in this fancy Fannie Farke take out bag.

Foot Long Corn Dog

The cashier rang up my corn dog, the cost, $5 dollars plus tax. Yes, $5 dollars, and that was only for the corn dog, no fries, no chips, no beverage. Unwrapping the bag, I was met with this log. It smelled of old grease, and in a moment, I found that it tasted like old grease as well.

Continuing with the taste, it was well cooked, not burned, and the hot dog inside the dough was hot completely through. As corn dogs go, it was of regular tasting, but the old grease taste had a strong presence. After a few bites, the rest of the corn dog was laid to rest in the trash container outside of Fannie Farkle’s.

PS: Technically, it was a a foot long corn dog, but upon inspection, it was two regular hot dogs on the same stick. Not splitting hairs here, just reporting the findings.

The Grassy Knoll Institute scores 2 out of 5 shots and DOES NOT recommend Fannie Farkle’s Corn Dogs for dinner.

Back To Blue Plate Special Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The Seventh Day Of Christmas

14 Deadly Sins

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins…

Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new “Modern” sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn’t cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.

Pope Benedict XVI released his updated list of 7 new activities considered to be deadly, or mortal sins and wants all Catholics to incorporate the list into their lives and teach their children so that future generations will become more spiritual and Godlike.

The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:

1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.

2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)

3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.

4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)

6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.

7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.

Merry Christmas!

Back To Random Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas

Five Thought Screen Helemts

On the fifth day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Five Thought Screen Helmets…

Meet the Ferris family. Born and raised in Greenwood, Nebraska, the entire family has been repeatedly abducted by evil telepathic aliens during the Christmas holiday for the past 15 years. But not this year.

Thanks to the generous donation of five thought screen helmets from the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute, the Ferris family will be safe this holy silent night.

Merry Christmas!

Back To Thought Screen Helmet Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL