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Archive for September, 2009

Sunday Bloody Sunday – Vikings Beat Browns

Posted by LOTGK on September 15, 2009

vikings saints preview

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Sunday Bloody Sunday

How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long? How long?
‘Cause tonight we can be as one,
Tonight, tonight.
Sunday, bloody Sunday

The Minnesota Vikings traveled to Cleveland on Sunday christening the Brett Favre era by defeating the Browns 34-20 in a hard fought game. Favre went 14-20 fpr 110 yards and one touchdown, no interceptions, and one tackle of receiver Harvin after catching his only TD pass. Rookie Percy Harvin also made his debut and lived up to his hype as he is now a trivia answer, (What Viking caught Brett Favre’s first TD pass) and also gained 22 yards on two rushes and hauled in three passes for 36 yards and that TD. Add his 30 plus yard average kick return and Harvin is a huge bonus to the offense.

Meanwhile, the Browns also debuted new head coach Eric Mangini.(Meet the new boss, same as the old boss) Mangini decided to keep the Vikings guessing as to who his starting quarterback would be hoping it would hinder the Vikings game plan. Everyone knew it would be Brady Quinn. Brady was held at bay until the end of the game, when the Vikings had a three TD lead did the Vikings prevent defense allow Quinn to pad his stats a little.

Jim Brown, the greatest running back in NFL history attended the game, sitting on the Browns sidelines. All he could do was watch the current best running back, Adrian Peterson, literally toss defenders out of the way as he rushed for 180 yards on 25 carries and three touchdowns. He is on the verge of becoming something special.

Special teams defense gave up a touchdown Sunday as Cribbs returned a punt for 60 plus yards. Last year the Vikings had an open door policy on return touchdowns. Every team received a turn. Coach Childress needs to correct this flaw if he entertains thoughts of the going deep in the playoffs.

Speaking of playoffs, if the O line doesn’t protect Favre better, (He was knocked down and sacked to often Sunday) Favre will not last the entire season. And since Childress already cut Jackson’s and Rosenfels balls off, who will step up and command the offense?

And speaking of Rosenfels. What a big steaming bowl of crap Childress laid on him. He promised Sage a chance to compete against Jackson for the starting role knowing very well that Favre was on the radar and would never start. In fact, Sage was the third team quarterback Sunday. Imagine how other future free agents will react to Childress and his lies promises.

The Vikings are 1-0, winning an away game, in an outside stadium, and on grass. Usually, they lose these games. I hope they continue the trend.

SKOL VIKINGS!

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Release The Kracken

Posted by LOTGK on September 13, 2009

Fishy

Release The Kracken

.
The Stink Bomb!
This particular brand of stink bomb doesn’t do the word “Stink” justice. When you break the vial an unbearable stench fills the air in a matter of seconds and lingers for 20-30 minutes. To flee the vicinity is the only recourse to save yourself. Hence, the stink bomb is strictly forbidden at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute.

A little while ago one rocket scientist (Joe) had a pack of stink bombs on his desk. He was playfully threatening the other employees saying he was going to break one of those puppies open and throw it at random workers passing by unless someone went to get lunch for him for a change. (No one went for him)

After about 20 minutes of this, (Yes, we were all working really hard at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute that day) a very high level executive walked into Joe’s office and grabbed one of the stink bombs and smashed it on Joe’s desk and ran out laughing. Seconds later the stench wafted through the office and everyone was covering their nose and screaming. Big industrial fans were positioned to slowly pull the stench out of the office. (Joe decided to go to lunch. “Hey Joe, can you pick me up something since you’re going to be out!”)

A memo came out the next day banning stink bombs from the office forever. However, just the other day a certain Curator strategically placed a stink bomb under the toilet seat in the Men’s room and then gingerly put the seat down. I then exited and waited for an unlucky victim.

Within minutes the Kracken (The stink bomb glass was broken releasing the vile liquid) was released and the bathroom filled up with the unbearable stench. Like a scene from the science fiction 1950′s movie, “The Blob,” people were running away from the bathroom and hallway seeking safety.

The next day yet another memo was issued stating, “We really mean it this time, no more stink bombs permitted at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute.

Business as usual. :D

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Nostradamus Predicts Vikings To Win Superbowl

Posted by LOTGK on September 9, 2009

Nostradamus predicts the minnesota vikings to win the super bowl.

Skol Vikings

.
The Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists, in our continuing research of Nostradamus and his famous Quatrains and prophecies of the Centuries, have uncovered one particular Quatrain that could not be interpreted until now. We have determined that the following Quatrain is indeed describing the Minnesota Vikings and their upcoming 2009 campaign.

Who was Nostradamus? Nostradamus was a 16th century prophet and astrologer who supposedly foresaw the future of the world. His technique used was a form of meditation where at night, he would sit alone peering into his brass tripod that was centered with a flame. His claim to fame was his prophecies of the first and second world war, Hitler and his regime, the Kennedy brothers assassinations, Napoleon and his battle at Waterloo, World Trade Towers, the coming of the Anti-Christ, and now, the Minnesota Vikings.

Nostradamus mixed his prophecies and quatrains to confuse the reader of when events would take place. We found the following quatrain here.

Nostradamus Quatrains Of The Centuries
Century IX
Quatrain IX

Four dawns past the inverted name of the beast shall arise a four eyed heir to the throne, name unpronounced, in favor of the god, the child.

Twin brothers in celestial dispute, Mars at its zenith, shall defend the stronghold.

The great son of apostle Peter lie in tandem with the 22nd man of the serpent, reign upon the battlefields as the Taylor waits patiently for his cloth.

The Bear, Lion, Eagle, shall no longer be welcome, victory blood green to purple, the spoils of war earned.

Amazing that it has taken the Grassy Knoll Institute this long to decipher this coded yet so simple a quatrain. It was staring at us right in the face.

Line Number One:
The first line, Four dawns past the inverted name of the beast, set a time of this event. The beast is known as the Anti-Christ, and will be recognized by the mark of three sixes. An inverted six is a nine, three sixes inverted are three nines. Or todays date, 09/09/09. Add the four dawns, or four days, and you have Sunday September 13th, 2009, opening day for the Vikings. Coincidence, I think not.

The second part of line one, shall arise a four eyed heir to the throne, name unpronounced, is crystal clear when you look at it in modern times. A four eyed heir. Brett Favre wears number 4 on his jersey, but the quatrain clearly states four eyed. The question you have to ask is, where is Brett Favre from? No, not Green Bay, but from his home town state, Mississippi. A four eyed state.

Continuing, Brett Favre has risen to royalty status, and has taken the throne of the team, the quarterback. The name unpronounced, Favre, which is phonetically spelled incorrectly, is a name not pronounced.

The last part of line one, in favor of the god, the child. This can only refer to Brett Favre and Brad Childress. Favre in many fans eyes is a godlike figure, a savior, especially to Brad Childress, the coach of the Vikings. Childress risked his entire career on Favre, forsaking Jackson, laying favor upon Favre. Interesting tidbit about one word, the “Child,” or the Childress.

Are you with me so far? Good! Lets press on to the second line of the quatrain.

Line Number Two:
Twin brothers in celestial dispute, Mars at its zenith, shall defend the stronghold. Twin brothers can only be Pat and Kevin Williams, the massive wall of the Viking defensive line. Both are all pro and have been referred to as twins and brothers, though they are not. But for Nostradamus looking 500 years into the future, the twin brothers are easily Pat and Kevin.

The celestial dispute can only be referenced to the Star Caps debacle. Insert Star Cap for celestial. The Williams are disputing the NFL ruling that they violated rules concerning steroids. Hence the celestial dispute, the Star caps debacle.

Mars at it’s zenith: Mars is the symbol of war, and it is at it’s highest point, it’s zenith. The Star Caps case is at a critical juncture with the NFL beginning in four days. If the Williams loses their case, (The war) they will be suspended the next four games. If they prevail, they will continue to uphold the defensive line. The Williams never swayed, never buckled under pressure, being ever stoic in their quest to defend their livelihood, their stronghold.

Isn’t this fun?

Line Number Three:
The third line of the quatrain becomes very interesting.
The great son of apostle Peter lie in tandem with the 22nd man of the serpent, reign upon the battlefields as the Taylor waits patiently for his cloth.
Lets break this up into sections. The first part, The great son of apostle Peter is the one and only Adrian Peterson. Peters son. Peterson. Adrian has been deemed one of the greatest running backs in the league today living up to his namesake.

The second part of the line, lie in tandem with the 22nd man of the serpent calls out Percy Harvin. If you recall, Harvin was the 22nd man selected in the NFL draft this year. His college was the Florida Gators. To Nostradamus, who never set eyes upon an alligator, would easily assume the mascot was a serpent.

To see that the two, Peterson and Harvin would Lie in tandem and reign upon the battlefields is incredulous. Peterson when on the field commands usually an 8-9 man box front. With Harvin, the box should shrink by one or two leaving a 7 man front allowing Peterson to be even more effective. With the defense staying ever vigilant on Peterson, Harvin will be left one on one allowing him to press the defense. Advantage, Vikings!

In the last part of the line, as the Taylor waits patiently for his cloth. Nostradamus refers to one of the players by actual name. Taylor. As in Chester Taylor. Taylor is the backup running back, and spells Peterson for certain situations and third down plays. He waits patiently for his playing time and excels when on the field. Between Peterson, Harvin, and Taylor, there are no trio of backs better in the league.

Line Number Four:
The Bear, Lion, Eagle, shall no longer be welcome as victory blood runs green to purple, the spoils of war earned. For the Vikings to rise to the top, they must defeat their enemies, the Bears, The Lions, and the Eagles. The Bears and Lions are in the Vikings division, and must win these games to be atop the division. The mention of the Eagles excites me. Nostradamus suggests that they must defeat them before they can shout victory. As in, beat the Eagles in the NFC championship game. And it appears that game will be played in Minnesota, for the Eagles would not be welcomed there anymore. At home, in the dome.

The last part of the fourth line of the quatrain, victory blood runs green to purple, the spoils of war earned. This can only be interpreted as the Vikings claiming victory in the super bowl. The blood running from green to purple, perhaps indicate Brett Favre, once a Packer and Jet, where both jerseys were green, have now stained to purple, the color of the Vikings jerseys. The spoils of war, the super bowl trophy. Nostradamus predicts a Minnesota Viking Super Bowl victory.

The planets are aligned. Brett Favre is in house, Peterson healthy and on a mission, the defense strong with plenty of depth, the rookies ready to contribute in every game, and Childress, growing a beard to hide his winces whenever his kick ass offense sputters.

My own prediction for the Vikings. Favre does well controlling the game, does not put up superstar numbers, but adequate enough to make the offense click. Peterson gains 1500 plus yards. Harvin scores 10 touchdowns, becomes a threat on kick returns, Sidney Rice stays healthy and hauls in 45 catches, Shaincoe becomes an all pro tight end, Childress blows a few games with bone headed tactics, Jared Allen records 18 sacks, Vikings win NFC North, Win NFC championship game, win super bowl.

Hey, how can you argue with a 500 year old quatrain prophecy from Nostradamus deeming the Vikings victorious!

SKOL VIKINGS!

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Jack And Jackie Kennedy

Posted by LOTGK on September 8, 2009

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President Kennedy and the First Lady leave a formal dinner in Paris, hosted by French President DeGaulle.

Number 68 in a series of 77 John F. Kennedy cards.

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