50 Psychic Predictions For 2008

As in previous years, the Grassy Knoll Institute has dusted off our psychic powers and boldly peered into our crystal ball of the future. What we saw is shocking, profane, funny, and probably down right false. Then again, I was correct on 30 out of 50 last year. Let’s see how good I do for 2008.

#01 – Fidel Castro Dies.

#02 – The Indianapolis Colts stun the world and upset the Patriots in the championship game and go on to repeat and win the super bowl. Incorrect. The Colts were upset last night by the San Diego chargers. 01/13/2008

#03 – The Boston Celtics win the NBA championship. Correct! The Celtics defeated the Lakers in game 6 by 39 points to capture their 17th Championship. 06/17/2008

#04 – K Fed gets around. He knocks up yet another girl.

#05 – News reports that Anna Nicole Smith was murdered, and not a suicide as previously reported.

#06 – Hillary Clinton doesn’t win the 2008 election. Hillary has lost the
Democratic nomination and was not chosen for vice president. Prediction is Correct!

#07 – Osama Bin Laden will be captured, and ultimately killed before he is brought to trial.

#08 – America Online, AOL will shutter most of its services for all dial up connections. Confirmed. Time Warner announced that waning sales and new sign ups for the aging AOL service is in severe decline and will no longer be a priority.

#09 – Britney Spears in a heroic effort saves her children from certain death. Correct! Britneys boy was choking and she had him rushed to the hospital to save his life.

#10 – Lindsay Lohan enters rehab, again. But this time, she is ordered to stay there by a judge. Confirmed! Lindsay spends time in rehab but this time, changes her lifestyle when she leaves. She starts dating a woman DJ.

#11 – Jessica Simpson turns up pregnant. K Fed is not the dad.

#12 – Ford Motor Company and General Motors will be on the brink of bankruptcy and o GM will come to their aid and bail them out with an attempt to purchase Chrysler to offset their debt load. Confirmed! Both Ford and GM are on the brink begging for the Government to bail them out. The Chrysler deal did not go through.

#13 – The writers strike will continue into March ruining the 2008 television season. Although the strike lasted to the last week in February, and many shows were shelved and others like ABC Lost cut back episodes, the strike did not last til March. 02/26/2008

#14 – An asteroid on a trajectory course to earth will be discovered. It will reach earth in 4 years. Still undetermined!

#15 – The lost city of Atlantis will not be discovered. Yet significant evidence that it once existed will come to light.

#16 – A completed Twilight Zone special written and produced by Rod Serling will be found.

#17 – Empirical evidence will be provided from a death bed confession of a retired C.I.A. operative concerning president John F. Kennedy that Oswald did not act alone.

#18 – Ghost Hunters, TAPS, will capture video and audio evidence of a supernatural entity. Confirmed! in several episodes this season, contact was made. Grant Wilson, during the live airing on Halloween night, had his jacket visibly pulled almost knocking him down and a distinct voice warned them that “You’re not supposed to be here.”

#19 – The summer of 2008 in Antarctica will reveal land mass that was covered in ice for centuries. A well preserved prehistoric man will be unearthed there.

#20 – Britney Spears misses yet another custody court hearing and the judge rules in favor of K Fed giving sole custody to him. Confirmed, Judges award K Fed sole custody of the children. 01/04/2008

#21 – NASA will discover a new planet circling a sun that has the same properties as earth, approximately the same size, density, and distance from the sun. Confirmed! The planet is Gliese 581c is about 12,000 miles across, Earth is just under 8,000 pole-to-pole. It is made of the same sort of rock that makes up Earth and has enough gravity to support an atmosphere. The planet is in the goldilocks zone, not to hot, not to cold, but just right orbit around the star.

#22 – Pamela Anderson – Lee – Rock – Lee – Soloman gets divorced. Correct! Pamela Anderson was in court seeking an annulment from Rick Soloman today. 02/26/2008

#23 – Pamela Anderson also has yet another boob enhancement. Correct! Pam has had augmentation yet again done on her breasts, this time increasing her bustline.

#24 – Magician and illusionist Harry Houdini makes contact with psychic John Edwards on his national television program.

#25 – The Ohio State Buckeyes defeat LSU and become NCAA National Champions. Incorrect! The Buckeyes lost 38-24 in the championship game, 01/07/2008

#26 – Hundreds of UFO sightings will be reported in the Summer months of this year. These sightings are a prelude to first contact.

#27 – Mount St. Helens will erupt causing significant damage.

#28 – Michael Jackson will return to the states with a new pop album. Confirmed! The king of pop releases his anniversary album of thriller anthology. It climbs to the top of the charts once again.

#29 – Ramses II tomb investigation will reveal the bible story is accurate.

#30- A remake of Gilligan’s Island will be pitched to Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy. They both accept.

#31 – Scarlett Johansson announces she will appear nude in her next movie filming late in 2008. Confirmed! Scarlett stars in the Woody allen feature, Vicky Christina Barcelona, and reveals her bosom and has a steamy lesbian sex scene with Penelope Cruz.

#32 – Hayden Panettiere voids her contract with the hit television series Heroes.

#33 – OK, Yet another Paris Hilton porn video surfaces. This time however, she is filmed with another woman.

#34 – ABC producers rethink their business model concerning hit show LOST, and accelerate the conclusion by canceling the sixth season by adding 32 episodes for 2009.

#35 – The Olson twins split and go their separate ways. Correct! The Olsons, although still partners in their company ownership, has parted ways. Marykate has branched out and is on the hit series, Weeds, playing a stoner girl. Big reach, but hey, maybe it will make her want to eat a sandwich.

#36 – Tom Cruise admits that he believes in aliens. Correct! On several interviews, Cruise admits that aliens exist saying that it is impossible that out of the billions of stars in the universe, our planet is the only one that sustains life.

#37 – Tony Romo dates Jessica Beil.

#38 – Brett Favre, quarterback of the Green Bay Packers announces that he is considering retiring. Confirmed! In a story posted on the Web site of the Biloxi (Miss.) Sun-Herald on Thursday, Favre said Saturday’s playoff game against Seattle could be his final game in Green Bay. But at the same time, he seemed more optimistic than in years past about returning. Farve Contemplates 01/10/2008

#39 – Jennifer Love Hewitt becomes the new spokeswoman for Subway. (Jared is pissed)

#40 – Donald Trump loses a bet and shaves his head.

#41 – O.J. Simpson claims to have written yet another book. Nobody cares. Correct! Oj Simpson wrote a book titled, If I Did It, and nobody could care less. Maybe because we all know he did.

#42 – I cannot resist. Britney Spears gets pregnant joining her 16 year old sister.

#43 – Cameron Diaz breaks her arm while skateboarding.

#44 – David Blaine actually has a magic stunt work in 2008. Correct! On April 30, 2008, Blaine attempted to break the record for holding one’s breath. The attempt was taped at The Oprah Winfrey Show and aired live that night.

Blaine held his breath for 17 minutes 4.4 seconds to set the Guinness World Record, surpassing the previous record of 16 minutes, 32 seconds set by Peter Colat of Switzerland.

#45 – Siegfried and Roy reunite and perform on a limited basis in their secret gardens arena in Las Vegas. As of february 7th, Siegfried and Roy did reunite for a special performance. 02/26/2008

#46 – Bruce Jenner wises up and seeks divorce from Kardashian clan.

#47 – Avril Lavigne gets a boob job. Claims it was necessary for health reasons.

#48 – Actress and Nipple queen Bai Ling for once does not expose her nipples during a photo shoot. Correct! Bai Ling appeared at several Hollywood functions this season and had no wardrobe malfunctions. Also, she appeared in several magazine shoots and not a bare nipple was to be seen.

#49 – The Cincinnati Reds win the World Series. Wrong! The Reds didn’t even come close. Next year I predict they won’t win the series.

#50 – George Lucas announces that three more Star Wars movies will go into production picking up where Star Wars three ended. Rosie O’Donnell signed on to portray Jabba The Hut.

There you have it. 50 stunning psychic predictions for 2008.

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